I don't know if anyone has the answer to this question, but reading books I can say that I realized without having experienced it myself. I thought I could live without her. I was wrong because love ignites a fire in us that only one person can ignite and extinguish at the same time.
I met someone recently and now books are just the place where I retired and dreamed of the happiness of characters who don't even exist. I don't understand their momentary meaning in my life anymore, but they were the ones who showed me how dangerous love is.
You may believe me or not, but reading and writing love poems was a way of forgetting that no one felt that way for me. I kept doing these activities with the thought that no one could love me so deeply, need me when something takes an unexpected turn.
Indeed, the books and poems I wrote worked when my hopes were dashed every day, wondering if I would ever find the right person. If he will accept me as I am or if he will love me with my flaws and strengths. I finally found him. He tells me I'm perfect, but I've never been like that. For nobody.
I can laugh while inside me everything is destroyed like ashes from burnt wood. I can act as if nothing about you bothers me, and in my mind, you would be just nothing, of no importance to me. I have a thousand masks and very few have managed to see the real one that shows me all the imperfections. There are a thousand people in one.
Love did not make me believe that someone would change me completely because there will always remain in me a piece that describes me perfectly. I'm not that girl who cries for attention all the time and I don't expect too much from the people I know because if I do I will be disappointed in the end and it has reached me.
Love means not only sacrifices but also the moment when you feel next to you the person you love regardless of whether he is thousands of miles away from you or that he is two steps away from your home. When you know he's thinking only of you, leaving behind the doubts and questions that go through your mind. When you dream of her every night, and in the morning you wish that dream to have been real or to come true when you meet him.
Love can hurt you when you don't expect it and I know that very well. The words and tone you use can destroy your relationship. Now it's up to you, reader. I've been through this and I can say it's like how you stabbed yourself with a knife, and when someone gives you a sedative, it doesn't come out of your mouth. No, because you want to suffer and you know in your heart that you deserve it. Well, no one deserves it because in one way or another each of us is wrong at some point without realizing it immediately.
Love can leave you empty. I am not talking about clothes, money, or anything that means material things, but happy memories that are now becoming painful. I know what the ugly side of love looks like, which I also experienced in the end. There are times in a relationship where your partner or both cannot make certain gestures or activities for the other. To say, "No." is not a crime, because there are times when we do not allow ourselves to do certain things. Empty in the sense that the absence of a partner can crush you like an insect. It grinds you for hours, days, weeks that if you hadn't made that mistake maybe now it would have been like the beginning.
But it seems that it does not always happen the way we want it or regardless of the efforts we make. Love means many things that can heal us, hurt us, and in the worst case can destroy us for a long time. When you start a relationship you have no idea about all this, but along the way, you will discover them when you least expect it. I don't know if I found that kind of strong love, but I fell in love with someone some time ago and I don't regret anything.
I hope that you, my readers, have someone by your side whom you love to the point of exhaustion. Yes, that's love. It dries you to the last drop