[AGUST]
There were so many possibilities and outcomes as Agust lay on the ground, his thoughts swirling back to what had led Jung Hyuk into trying to attack the one place that he had warned everyone against.
This act of defiance was one that Agust would never forgive. It was one thing for Jung Hyuk to be jealous of Jiminie having the king's heart and mark, and it was another to come to attack a pack that hadn't been fighting them for the sake of it.
The fact that it had happened while Agust was in the mind link with Jiminie made Agust even more furious. He had never been disappointed like he was at the moment; his mind was reeling with so much rage.
He had long given orders back then to ensure that no one left Kawai, even to scour the conquered lands. It was the worst punishment he could have given him hope, and yet he was certain that no one would defy him this time.
The battle had been unwarranted, unplanned, and had been like an ambush. But that wasn't the reason Agust was so mad at his people. No. It was because he knew that his twin brother, Ming Chang Zhu, had everything to do with the impromptu ambush.
Agust couldn't quite put a finger on it, but he knew it. He felt it. He understood what was happening, and as he hated himself for not being there for Jiminie, he had to remind himself that this could have been avoided.
He should have fought his twin and made sure this never happened, and yet he had tried, reluctant even then. And now he was in Kiyoto, hurting so badly, even though nothing could compare to the pain of having Jiminie not come to him.
'I won't give up, Jiminie,' Agust thought to himself as he waited for Jiminie's scent. It was the only thing that kept him sane in his fake unconsciousness. He didn't want to deal with anyone other than Jiminie, so when he heard those little delicate steps for his Erasthai, Agust sighed in relief.
"Xiao Xiao…come back," Agust heard Jiminie say softly as he felt a spell get cast on him so his wounds would heal. For Jiminie, there wasn't much that was needed other than the idea of seeing Agust healed.
That was as strong a spell as anything that couldn't have been taught in the old books about magic and shit, and Agust felt like life was finally returning to normal. But then he couldn't show just how excited he was, so he waited a little longer.
It's me… your kitten," Jiminie whispered, choking back a soft cry.
Agust felt his heart shatter just a little for Jiminie. His Erasthai had been alone and had to fight against Lycans who were stronger than him, all because Agust had been busy with Jung Hyuk barely days earlier and had drained him.
It was so thigh still pissed Agust to this day and he hated himself for pushing the limits this far. He should have been careful, and even better, he should have loved Jiminie wholly without any betrayals in between.
But he had been loyal to the bond that he had triggered himself. That was the one truth, and Agust wondered if there would ever come a day when he would ever be worthy of the young alpha who was nursing him.
"My soul. My beautiful soul," Agust whimpered in shame as he opened his eyes to a fully healed body and a tearing-up Jiminie. The alpha was so pretty, even with tears in his eyes, and Agust felt his heart warm up for his little kitten.
This was the shit should have happened and yet it hadn't happened. He had always been a monster, and he had finally shown his Erasthai just how monstrous he could be. All of this was so fucked up and Agust hated himself even more for it.
He should have been better, and instead, he had been focused on dealing with his demons, forgetting that his demons were the very things that made him a man of such a stature.
He needed to step up for Jiminie.
"You're awake," Jiminie said, his tone suddenly cold, and Agust felt like he had just been gutted. He had been expecting the tension, but the way that Jiminie was staring at him was so empty, like he wanted nothing to do with the man.
This was honestly worse than the pain Agust had been enduring for the past three days. If given a choice, Agust could have chosen eternal suffering over the pain in Erasthai's eyes that were hidden just beyond the cold stares that his Jiminie was giving him.
"Jiminie…" Agust trailed off, trying to find the right words to make up for all that had happened. He knew that he had to prepare himself to the worst but man was it haunting as fuck right now.
A part of him wanted to go to war against his own people, but this was going to be the answer to the pain that Jiminie and his people had had to endure over the past few days.
"Why?" Jiminie asked.
He wasn't about to act like his world wasn't turned upside down by the very beasts that Agust led. He needed to figure shit out and though he had already heard the truth from Jae Jun, he still needed more.
He needed to hear it from Agust himself that this wasn't an order he had given. That alone would mean the world to Jiminie, because deep down, the wolf was hurting.
He had been mated to Agust for two long years, and yet in all that, there hadn't been an ounce of joyous moments between them. It was always war or loss, and Jiminie was starting to get tired of the back and forth.
He wanted a break from the pain. He needed to breathe, which wasn't even getting any easier because lately, every day without Agust by his side felt like he was getting stabbed in the heart over and over. It wasn't fair at all.
This was too harsh a reality, and Jiminie hated it.
"I didn't send them, Jiminie. I would never send anyone against you, kitten. I swore to stay away, to give you peace, and yet it seems like all that keeps hurting you. I'm so sorry, my soul," Agust said as he sat up.
The ground had gone uncomfortable now that he was properly healed, and while he couldn't complain to Jiminie about it, he had to be true and make it easier because he hated to see Jiminie too.
He wanted to hold Jiminie and never let go. But that wasn't going to be easy with the way shit had gotten too complicated between them. Love wasn't supposed to be this hard, but somehow it was like war was the only life that existed between them.
What the fuck was Agust even going to do about it this time?
Would he fight his own people for Jiminie, or would he try to make Jiminie end, and that they were always going to be enemies despite the love that the fates had thrust between them?
Was it always going to be this sad and horrifying a bond for them?
"I would never hurt you like that," Agust added, and Jiminie scoffed at the irony of it all.