Remus held up a mirror, and showed it to everyone. "This is a two way talking Mirror. The Marauders used them to talk to each other when we were in Hogwarts" The twins were looking at the mirror with pure awe in their eyes as Remus continued. "I put a Disillusionment Charm on one of the mirrors and placed it in your Relatives' living room and muted this one so they can't hear us but we'll still be able to hear them. We will only be able to see what's happening in the living room though, but hopefully it will give us an idea how the pranks are working. We have someone very interested in the situation that will monitor this mirror as much as he can. Now for my first prank I transfigured two dozen buttons into rats. I put a sleep spell on them so two of them will awaken every week," Remus said. "So for the next few weeks your Aunt Petunia will have some guests to keep her company."
Petunia noticed the small black half inch long things on the floor of the kitchen but didn't think anything of it at first. She immediately got the broom and cleaned them up. Over the next couple of days she found more and more of the black cylindrical items. Finally one day she was in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea when she heard a scraping sound behind her.
Vernon Dursley could hear Petunia before he could even turn off the car after returning from work.
"VERNON! HELP! VERNON!"
He immediately rushed into the house to find his wife standing on a chair in the kitchen shouting at the top of her lungs.
"What is it Petunia dear?" Vernon asked.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Petunia shouted. "I'VE BEEN ON THIS CHAIR ALL DAY."
"I've been at work like I do every day," Vernon answered. "Why are you standing on a chair?"
"RAT!" Petunia continued screaming. "WE HAVE A RAT!"
"Just a rat?" Vernon asked. "Surely you're not afraid of a rat are you Petunia dear? I'll call an exterminator in the morning and have him come take a look," Vernon quickly found out that this was exactly the wrong thing to say to his wife. Not only did he have to call an exterminator for an after hour rat removal, but he also received no dinner since Petunia refused to move from her chair and Vernon was required to spend the two hours until the exterminator showed up looking for the rat the extermination company was going to kill.
"You know Moony," Sirius said to his friend earlier in the day as they listened to the mirror. "She's had to have been screaming for three straight hours, you'd think she'd have gotten tired of it by now."
"I think we're going to need some headache potions down here," Moony replied. "Or we will have to mute the mirror and maybe miss something."
"Maybe, but for now, those screams are music to my ears."
...
"We added foolish fragrance to your Uncle's cologne," Fred said and then went on to explain. "When he first puts it on, it smells as it should, but an hour later the smell starts to change."
Vernon Dursley was driving his car into work when he started smelling an odd smell. "There must be a dairy farm around here somewhere," He thought. By the time he got to work, he was concerned that the smell had got into his car and now he couldn't get it out.
"VERNON DURSLEY!" Vernon's boss yelled a couple of hours later.
"Yes sir?" Vernon answered nervously.
"You smell Vernon. Several customers and even employees who work near you have already left the building because of the way you smell."
"It was a dairy farm sir. I passed one this morning and the smell got into my car."
"Well go home, shower and get back here as quickly as you can."
"Yes sir. I'll do that sir," Was all Vernon could say. He quickly drove back home where he showered in cold water for the second time that morning, changed clothes and put on a liberal amount of cologne to make sure the smell was gone.
The rest of his day was so unpleasant he forgot to call about having a plumber come check on his hot water heater. When he got home that evening Petunia was again waiting for him in the living room holding two magazines that had been delivered that day.
Flashback
Petunia Dursley liked to meet the Postman when he delivered the post. Sometimes he would have a bit of juicy gossip to share in his passing. This time as he handed her the envelopes he also passed over two plain wrapped magazines.
"I honestly didn't think Vernon would be interested in such things," The Postman said. He had seen enough return addresses and types of deliveries that he knew exactly which magazines he had just delivered.
"What do you mean?" Petunia asked as she glanced down at them. "What are they?"
"Oh," The postman quickly replied. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Well good day Mrs. Dursley," He then strolled over to the next house. Petunia could only follow the man with her eyes and as he started conversing with her neighbor, she saw them both glance in her direction and smile the types of smiles like you're hiding laughter.
She quickly went inside and ripped the cover off of one of the magazines and saw a very buxom and very nude woman staring back at her.
"VERNON!" She screamed. Though he was nowhere near the house at the time, her husband still felt a cold shiver run down his spine that reminded him of the two morning showers.
End Flashback
"VERNON DURSLEY!" Petunia spat holding up the magazines. "WHAT ARE THESE?"
"Petunia dear, I…I have no idea," Vernon replied.
"JUST LIKE YOU HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THOSE KNICKERS?" Petunia yelled.
"Uhm...dear, I really have no idea. Obviously they made some mistake at the processing center."
Though Petunia was irate, Vernon might have had a chance to talk his way out of the situation if the doorbell hadn't rung a few minutes after a very silent dinner.
When Petunia answered the door, she found Mrs. Merriweather standing there holding a partially opened plain packaged magazine. Mrs. Merriweather immediately thrust the package into Petunia's hands.
"Here," She said. "This was misaddressed. It's for your husband," The last word was more spat that spoken.
Petunia looked down and saw it was indeed addressed to Vernon Dursley, only it was addressed to number fourteen Privet Drive instead.
"I'm sure there must be some kind of mistake," Petunia said weakly.
Mrs. Merriweather's nose wrinkled as she said. "I'm sure there must have been. Please have your husband change the address of that thing immediately. I do not want his filth delivered to my house ever again," She immediately turned around and stalked off.
Petunia watched the gossipy Mrs. Merriweather disappear off of her walk and looked down at the new magazine where a man seemingly attired in some kind of rubber outfit was being restrained... "VERNON!"
Vernon Dursley spent another few nights on the sofa which, in light of the fact Petunia had just replaced the sheets including the pillowcases in their bedroom wasn't exactly a bad thing.
....
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