Natsukawa Kanade suddenly had a realization—he looked like a total scumbag.
At first, when he agreed to everything, it didn't seem like a big deal. But now that he was actually following through, things felt a little… off.
Not in the sense that he regretted participating in the game, but rather the fact that as soon as he and Kaguya finished the event and got their medals, he'd be ditching her at lightspeed to meet up with Eriri.
No matter how you framed it, this screamed master of time management behavior.
He wasn't even worried about getting caught or misunderstood—he was starting to doubt himself. Wasn't this just plain wrong?
True, when he initially partnered up with Kaguya, it had been in the spirit of friendship. He hadn't considered whether there might be any deeper implications behind the invitation. But after everything that had just happened—especially the atmosphere between them—he couldn't help but feel like this was more than just a casual outing between friends.
If nothing else, Kaguya's attitude toward him had been… off.
This was Kaguya Shinomiya—the untouchable, aloof ice queen of Shuchiin Academy. Not just some standoffish girl like Yukinoshita Yukino, whose coldness was more of a poorly disguised social defense mechanism. No, Kaguya's frost wasn't just for show—it was an intrinsic part of her upbringing, woven into her very being.
Yukino, for all her sharp words, was still fundamentally soft inside. She could be convinced, reasoned with. If you managed to break through her defenses, you'd find a normal, albeit awkward, girl who simply struggled with people.
Kaguya, on the other hand?
Her worldview was completely different. It wasn't about who she could get along with—it was about who she could use.
And lately… that attitude had become even more pronounced.
It wasn't just his imagination. He had noticed her occasionally giving Fujiwara Chika this eerie, unreadable look. Not one of annoyance, or exasperation—no, this was something entirely different. It was the kind of gaze one might use when inspecting a particularly uncooperative livestock.
Which was crazy, because weren't they supposed to be childhood friends?
Natsukawa Kanade couldn't wrap his head around it.
The only reasonable conclusion was that Chika must have done something to really set Kaguya off. Which, knowing Chika, was highly plausible. She had a knack for blundering into trouble, blissfully unaware of the chaos she caused. Still, despite all of that, Kaguya had always spoiled Chika. She treated her like a wayward younger sister, indulging her antics even when they were ridiculous.
So then… what about him?
Would someone as proud as Kaguya Shinomiya really accept holding hands with him just because "it's a game rule"?
That excuse was flimsy at best. And more than that, it wasn't just handholding. The way she had interacted with him tonight—her closeness, her touch, the unguarded expressions—none of it aligned with the Kaguya Shinomiya he had first met.
Sure, there was the whole "young Kaguya" personality shift to consider. The part of her that acted spoiled and affectionate, completely different from her usual icy self. But… personality shifts shouldn't change fundamental emotions, right?
And yet, even outside of moments when her childish side surfaced, her behavior toward him had gradually shifted.
In the beginning, she had been cold. Every smile was a practiced business smile, every glance calculated. There was no warmth, just polite detachment and the underlying sense that she was always one step away from considering him expendable.
But over time, things had changed.
Slowly, painstakingly, he had chipped away at that distant exterior. She had started to genuinely laugh around him, to speak in a tone that wasn't laced with challenge or veiled mockery.
At the time, he had thought—I did it. I managed to upgrade from 'useful pawn' to 'actual friend.'
But was that really the case?
Would someone like Kaguya Shinomiya, with all her pride and discipline, show him such genuine smiles just because she considered him a friend?
Would she willingly hold hands with a boy, let alone engage in moments of casual intimacy, if there was truly nothing deeper behind it?
And even now, when she thought no one was watching, she often showed expressions that were far too tender for mere friendship. At times, her gaze was soft, thoughtful, almost hesitant—completely at odds with her usual precision and control.
And then there was the way she had been behaving lately—pouting, acting willful, throwing glances at him that he knew weren't just normal signs of friendship.
He exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples.
Was he overthinking this? Or had he completely misread his own position in Kaguya's life?
Even though there were indeed moments when her other personality surfaced, Natsukawa Kanade couldn't shake the feeling that he had seen glimpses of her genuine self at other times. It couldn't all be chalked up to her alternate personality, right?
No, he didn't believe that.
So maybe... just maybe, this was because she actually had some feelings for him?
The more he thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. If she truly harbored some level of affection for him, it would explain why she was willing to be close to him, why she allowed intimate interactions that would normally be off-limits. It wasn't unlike his relationship with Mahiru—they weren't dating, but their bond was strong enough that casual affection didn't seem out of place.
Of course, there was another possibility—Chika. As Kaguya's only friend for years, Chika's influence on her must have been significant. Could it be that spending so much time around Chika had rubbed off on her? That Kaguya was unconsciously mirroring her friend's playful, teasing nature when interacting with him?
Both scenarios seemed plausible, but no amount of overthinking would give him a concrete answer. If he truly wanted to know whether Kaguya felt something "more than friendship but less than love" for him, he would have to ask her directly.
But could he just walk up to her and ask such a thing? Obviously not.
What kind of person would outright ask a girl, "Hey, do you like me?" That was the height of arrogance, wasn't it? Not even the most shameless, thick-skinned guy in existence would attempt something like that without cringing into oblivion.
Even if the phrasing was different, the essence remained the same. And even if he were to ask Mahiru, the person he was closest to, she would probably respond with something like—
"Kanade, you're so full of yourself! Sure, you're a great guy, but that doesn't mean you're boyfriend material!"
She had already rejected him before. He had confessed his feelings once, and she had turned him down—rather firmly, at that. He had accepted it, chosen to move on instead of clinging to the past.
Because the last thing he wanted was to burden her with his presence.
Yet, unexpectedly, Mahiru still wanted to keep interacting with him. Even if it wasn't as lovers, she made an effort to stay in his life, showed concern for his feelings, and even took care of him in small, thoughtful ways.
…Wait, did that mean she felt guilty about rejecting him?
Kanade quickly shook his head. He was letting his thoughts run wild again.
He shouldn't doubt Mahiru's sincerity. No matter the truth behind her actions, one thing was certain: they were still good friends. That bond was real, and he wouldn't let unnecessary speculation taint it.
And as for Kaguya…
Forget it. Thinking about this any further would only lead to more headaches.
With a deep sigh, Kanade decided to stop overanalyzing.
After all, the way things were now wasn't bad at all. He had good friends by his side, people who would respond if he called out to them, and that was more than enough. He wasn't alone anymore.
And maybe, just maybe, that was all the motivation he needed to keep moving forward.