The Man didn't even question the Portal before walking into it, assuming it would take him back to his cheap food and peak fiction, he didn't question anything, at least not questioning anything until after he passed through the Portal and fell into the arms of a muscular hairy man.
"Hey! I don't remember wanting to be picked up!" The man tried to say, but he found it impossible to speak, as if he forgot how.
He also questioned how the man was able to carry him so easily before realizing that he is so small, as if he was put into a child's body.
Strange Muscular Man: Our kid was born! It's a boy!
He shouted happily after wiping sweat from his forehead, still holding the Man- or, the Baby, Now...
An Unseen Woman: Why are you sweating?... I don't remember you pushing a baby out of your vagina.
She said while gently and firmly taking the baby out of his hands and walking over to a bed and collapsing into it, still gently holding the baby she just gave birth to.
"Wait, I'm a baby? Wait, that woman gave birth standing up? She's my mother? No she's not! My mother is Short with Black hair, and soft spoken. This woman is tall with light blonde hair, as well as kinda brutish and definitely not soft spoken. Where am I? Was the woman from before telling the truth? Wait... What happened?" Several thoughts were going through the Man-Babies head, meanwhile, his new parents were looking at him with confusion, as to why this newborn baby isn't crying.
Man: So, uh... What should we name him? Oh, I know! Let's name him "Death Knight"!
The Woman gave him an unamused expression.
Woman: why do you hate our child? He's been alive for 2 minutes and you already hate him, what did he do?
Man: No! nono! I don't hate him, fine... Uh?... Let's name him "Skull Crusher!" Gotta be sure to shout his name whenever you call him! As well as clench your fist!
Woman: If you come up with 1 more stupid name, I swear, I will shove this baby back inside of me and go find him a new dad that doesn't hate him. Imagine all the other kids bullying him because of the stupid names you suggest.
Man: Wait, you're worried about other kids? This village has no kids. Before today, the villages youngest child was 17. 17! Not even a child. And before her, the youngest child was 22! 22 at the time of the 17 year olds birth, by the way. Your worried about nothing. Our child will probably be the next person to bring a baby into this village and he was born today!
Woman: So my feelings and worries are invalid?
The woman asked with a scary expression on her face.
Man: Nonono! *sigh* what name suggestions do you have?
He asked with a defeated expression, realizing he can't win this argument.
Woman: hmm... How about?... Almond? Or Cashew? Or Peanut?
Man: You're naming him after your favorite food items? You planning to eat him?
Woman: with your name suggestions, you are in no place to judge.
Man: *Sigh* the kid can change his name when he gets older. Maybe if he ends up doing well in life and doesn't like the name you gave him, he can pay to have his name changed and realize the superiority of the name "Death Knight"!
Woman: and I will be sure to guilt trip him into not changing his name should he not like it.
She said with a smile on her face, as if she's proud of what she just said, and the man has a look on his face that suggests he doesn't doubt her.
...
3 Months have passed since I was born. After lots of arguments over what to name me, my dad eventually gave up and my mother chose the name "Cashew". Why that name in particular? That was the last thing she ate at that point in time. Speaking of names, I eventually learned that my Dad is named "Eric" and my mother is named "Sara". Apparently Eric was born in this village as the 32nd Son. Eric's Mother has 124 children and she was single handedly keeping this villages population up. She eventually stopped having kids because her own children weren't having their own children. With over 100 kids, it's difficult for me to even think about, but the fact that the Village Elder is almost 200 years old and still capable of having kids is surprising. She's not an Elf or any Beast Race, she's Human. My Father is named Eric and acts as a guard for the village, my mother is named Sara and she married into the village. She was originally from the capital city and met my father when he was in the capital trying to become a Royal Guard for the King. He failed at becoming a Royal Guard and Protecting his Home Village is the closest he has right now.
As for me, I'm still wondering if I really died or if this is a really elaborate prank pulled by one of my friends. It feels pretty real, I'm even stuck and unable to move, like a real baby... I've been trying to get up and move around every day from the second my mother stopped holding me. Speaking of, this world seems very far back in time, not modern or anything, so life is gonna be pretty boring when I am able to move around freely. Magic seems like something that exists in this world, so I'm hoping that I could entertain myself by learning magic. I can just hope anyone can learn magic and it's not something limited to Royalty or specific races or genetic or anything like that. If Magic is Genetic, both of my parents seempretty Brutish, so if Magic is Genetic, I probably wont be able to learn it.
Cashew, who is sitting on the Porch, not enjoying being unable to move, can see his mother in the distance, she's dragging a horse into a barn, the horse clearly doesn't wanna go in the barn, but she's literally Dragging it.
Sara: Come on, Horse... You need your horseshoes changed, stop resisting.
"Brutish..." Cashew thought as he watched his mother overpower a Horse. "I really hope don't end up like that..."
...
3 More months have passed. 6 months since Cashews Birthday.
A new woman has showed up in my life, She must be the Village Elders Youngest Daughter, I say that because she's the only person in this village besides my mother who's not covered in Wrinkles. The only one I've seen, at least. My mother is 42 years old and looks like she's in her 20s. I don't get the logic either. My Dad is always out protecting the village, fighting Goblins and Wolves and the occasional Bandit, so he's only here for dinner and my Mother is always Taking care of Farm animals. This woman has been coming around for about a month now she's been the one watching over me primarily. Her name is apparently Meredith and she feels the most like someone from my world. Speaking of My world, I think it's safe to assume it's not a really elaborate VR game. It seems I really died and am in another World.
Meredith was sitting with Baby Cashew in her lap, looking off in the distance, before noticing Cashews Mother, Sara, Approaching her. Sara has a Woodsplitting axe on her shoulder and a sweaty forehead.
Sara: How's the baby doing?
She asks while using her apron to wipe sweat off her forehead.
Meredith: He never Cries. Even when he needs to be cleaned. I have to go by smell to know if he needs to be cleaned. He doesn't even cry when hungry. He could be hungry right now and I don't know. He always has a dazed look, as if he's thinking about something.
She said while looking at baby Cashew sitting on her lap, holding him close so he doesn't fall.
Sara: Yeah, that's normal for him. Even when I gave birth, he didn't cry. Even when his dad made name suggestions, he didn't cry. I've never seen him cry or make any different expressions. Works for me, though. Means he's easy to take care of.
Meredith: Doesn't it worry you, though?
Sara: It's concerning, yes, but he's Still alive and hes healthy. He was 3 Kilograms when he was born, you were barely 1 Kilogram when you were born, I'm sure Cashew will grow up big and strong!
Meredith Listened and Sighed, Worried as to why Baby Cashew doesn't express any emotions.
Meanwhile, In Cashews head- "I'm bored! I wanna move around! Sitting on the woman's lap all day is boring... I wanna see if I have magical Talent!"
Baby Cashew let his head fall back into Meredith's chest, looking into the sky and internally complaining about being unable to move. Meredith felt his head fall into her chest and looked down, confused as to why he's looking up at the sky. Sara looked up to see what he was looking at.
After a few moments, Cashew decided that he wanted to stand and move around. He leaned back a bit more to try and get more momentum before moving forward with all the strength his 6 months old body could muster, but right when he felt like he was gonna stand and finally be able to move around, Meredith caught him and pulled him closer.
Meredith: Don't worry, I won't let you fall.
She said while giving Cashew a friendly smile. Cashew looked up at her with anger on his face-, well, as much anger as a 6 month old fat babies face can muster. Meredith didn't seem to notice the look.
"NooOOOooo! Unhand me, Woman! I was so close to moving!..." Cashew Cursed Meredith in his head, angry that she foiled his plan of moving around.
...
3 More months have passed. (9 months since Cashews Birth.)
Meredith has been coming by every day for about 5 months now. Always watching over Cashew and never letting him out of her sight. Cashews plans to start walking have been foiled every time by Meredith. After countless hoursof internally Cursing Meredith, Cashew finally decided to start trying to walk at night time. Meredith is at her own home and his parents are sleeping. After 4 months of trying at night time and a completely reversed sleep schedule, Cashew was finally able to start walking. He needs a wall to help, but he doesn't need to be carried around anymore.
"Wait... Why didn't I try crawling?..." Cashew froze while holding himself up against the wall. Now cursing himself for not thinking about crawling and instead going straight to walking.
Cashew spent the entire night walking around his room, still using the wall to support him, until he collapses from exhaustion, which only took about 5 minutes.
His parents, however, were worried, as you'd expect from parents who wake up in the morning and see their 9 months old child laying motionless on the floor. Cashew Slept that entire day, his parents and Meredith thought he was dead until the Village Elder said he was asleep from exhaustion. As if he overworked himself.
...
3 More months have passed. (1 year since Cashews was born)
Cashews entire life for the past 3 months consisted of Sleeping in Meredith's lap and arms all day while practicing walking until he passed out from exhaustion at night time. His parents were worried at first, but the Village Elder told them it was exhaustion and not to be worried, so they aren't worrying, they also stopped worrying after it became a daily issue. Meredith however is worried and scared Cashew might die soon.