He had tears in his eyes now, his grip on Severus' shoulders turning desperate. He couldn't bear it if Severus ever tried to make him choose between him and Sirius. "You need that affection," Severus said knowingly. "The affection I can never give you."
"I don't care!" Remus burst out in frustration. "I'm not ashamed of loving you. I didn't hide it from Harry, I won't hide it from Sirius — I'd announce it in the bloody Prophet if it wouldn't risk both our lives. You're more reserved, I understand that completely, and I love that about you. But don't tell me you can't give me affection when you show it to me all the time. It's not the typical public affection, but I've never expected that, Severus. I've never doubted your love for me, please don't insult me by doubting mine for you. Cuddling with Sirius especially when he's a dog, Merlin! — It's nothing more than platonic comfort. I won't give that up. But I need you to trust me."
Severus breathed deep into the silence that stretched between them, until his anguished eyes opened to meet Remus' once more. "You're not the only one who lost everything that night, Remus," he said eventually, every word dripping with pain. "I had to live through the aftermath. I had to carry on. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe we're done hurting each other."
Remus gripped the front of the man's robes, pulling him into a furious kiss, trying to shove every ounce of what he was feeling into the embrace. It was messy, with teeth clashing and a desperate little groan ripping from Severus' throat, and they were both breathing hard when he pulled away. "Believe it, Severus Snape," Remus declared firmly. He was never more sure of anything in his life. "We are done. Darkness is coming, but whatever may happen, we will face it side by side, on the same team, and if anything wants to get to you it's going to have to go through me, because we are done hurting each other and you are mine." The last word was a growl, and he knew his eyes were glowing gold. "We've wasted so much time, Severus. So much time fighting the inevitable, pushing each other away to try and stop future pain. We're too bloody old for that now." "I can't lose you again." Severus' voice was a heartbroken whisper. Remus pressed closer to him, like he was trying to crawl inside the man's chest and call it home.
"You won't," he promised, though it was a vow he could never keep. Anything could happen. But he knew only death would tear him away from the man he called his own. "You won't lose me. I'm yours. I've always been yours. My heart beats the rhythm of your name, my soul has your magic threaded through it, there is no part of me that isn't entirely devoted to you. Severus, please."
Severus let out a low growl, and all of a sudden Remus was being pushed back, through a door that quickly slammed behind him. He looked up — they were in a bedroom. It wasn't theirs, but it wasn't Sirius' or Harry's either, so that was good enough for him. With a sound that was more wolf than man, he tossed his Slytherin lover onto the bed, crawling after him with hooded eyes. One of them threw a hand out, he wasn't sure who, but he heard the lock click firmly, and then he stopped caring about anything that wasn't Severus' skin, Severus' voice, Severus' scent. Moony howled in the back of his head. Severus met him at every move, ripping at clothing and tugging hair. Remus was lost. But it was fine, it was perfect.
Severus would find him again. He always did.
Two days before Harry's birthday, Snape came home from a meeting at the school, eyes filled with fury and magic making the windows rattle. "That foolish, idiotic, reckless, careless—"
"Calm yourself," Remus called, walking over and resting soothing hands on the man's shoulders, tipping his forehead against Snape's for the briefest moment. "What has Albus done now?"
"Not just Albus," the Slytherin snarled. "The whole sodding Ministry." Harry shared a glance with Sirius, alarmed.
"What's going on at the Ministry?" he asked. Snape took a deep breath, straightening up.
"The Department of International Magical Cooperation has decided to revive the Triwizard Tournament."
Both Sirius and Remus swore loudly. Remus' empty teacup exploded. Harry stared at them in blank confusion.
"What's the Triwizard Tournament?"
Seeing that Remus was a little preoccupied as Snape continued ranting about dunderheaded buffoons, Sirius turned to his godson. "It's a competition between three magical schools Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons — that pits a champion from each school against each other in three tasks designed to test their magic, their courage, and their quick thinking."
"That doesn't sound so bad," Harry mused; it actually sounded quite fun. Sirius' face was grave.
"The tournament was discontinued in 1792 due to the exceedingly high death toll of both champions and spectators," he said flatly. Harry's stomach sank.
"Oh."
"Not only are they reviving the tournament, but of course Hogwarts is hosting," Snape continued. "As if we didn't have enough to deal with! The school is going to be swarming with foreigners, including bloody Karkaroff—"
"Karkaroff?" Sirius barked, head whipping around. "What the hell is he doing there?"
"He's headmaster of Durmstrang now," Snape replied, looking like he'd swallowed a lemon. "They do so enjoy their Dark Arts."
Harry didn't dare ask who Karkaroff was. He didn't think he'd like the answer.
"The students aren't supposed to know, but I'll bet anyone with a parent in the ministry is aware by the time school starts back up," Snape said. "They're limiting entry to only those who are of age, but from what little Albus told me about the plans for the tasks, it's going to be chaos regardless."
"Have they hired a new Defence teacher yet?" Remus asked, still with his hands on Snape's shoulders, like he'd forgotten they were there, thumbs absently working at tense muscles. Snape shook his head.
"If they have, I haven't been informed. Let's just hope it's someone good, with all this happening at the school."
"Well, if you can only enter if you're seventeen, I'll just stay out of it, then, won't I?" Harry pointed out diplomatically. "Yeah there'll be a load of new people around the castle, but most of them will be students. I'll just watch this Triwizard thing, keep my head down, and stay out of Dumbledore's way."
"You'll still have to be careful," Remus warned. "With so many people coming and going, it'll be easier for someone to slip in where they're not supposed to be."
"I mean, being entirely honest, it doesn't sound much more dangerous than my previous school years. Teacher possessed by literal Voldemort, giant basilisk roaming the halls looking for blood, mass murderer out to kill me — no offence, Sirius," he added. "All on top of a headmaster who has some secret plan to maybe use me as an actual magical bomb. Just a pretty standard year, to be fair."
The three adults stared at him for a minute.
"Why the hell are we letting him go back to that school?" Sirius muttered.
"Why the hell do I work at that school?" Snape agreed, shaking his head. Harry snorted.
"It'll be alright," he said, nonplussed. School-sanctioned danger made a nice change from the regular danger.
•
🚀New updates on my Ko-fi!🚀
Support me and read the novel, now available in PDF, with the advanced chapters.
•
https://ko-fi.com/cmrowling