~Bianca~
5 years ago
I could feel the fear in the air, and blood was flowing on the white walls, staining them with millions of tears, screams, pleas. I had lost my voice a long time ago, and my head was buzzing from staying awake so much that I wouldn't fall asleep. I knew the enemy was close and I didn't want to give him a chance to surprise me. He was going to destroy me again, and my secret wasn't keeping me away from the devil anymore. I played with fire and it was time to pay for it.
I wanted to disappear, to get as far away from these gray and cold places as possible. I had always run away from the Russian cold, from the people who ten years ago destroyed my family. And for that, I was going to destroy them. But now, all I had to do was survive, to escape the hands of a soulless man. My mother's screams rang in my ears while the people around me were tortured like slaves. That's how I was going to end up, but he wanted to drain me of all my energy. And I wasn't going to let him.
He didn't know what I was capable of, and I knew him better than he thought. We were friends, we ate from the same plate, I fell asleep next to him when nightmares scared me, we held hands when we ran through the garden behind his house. His parents had become what mine had never been. We were like brothers until one day he disappeared and all I had left to remember was a letter, with crooked letters, from when I was ten.
"Don't look for me.
You were nothing to me.
It was all a lie.
~ A"
That's when I knew I had lost everything. And he didn't know that. He didn't know how every night I looked out the window and wished I could see the light in his room. But it was always black. Black as my soul. I couldn't understand how, all our moments were a simple lie. How he hid his true emotions and why he lied to me when he told me he loved me. Even though we were just children, I loved him with all my heart and now I realized that I have to continue my life without him. And it hurts, and it hurts so much that all the magic in the world went away with him.
From that moment on, I loved no one, only him and with that I closed myself in. I stopped smiling, I stopped running around the garden, and the dreams in which he left me were repeated every night. I woke up with my pillow wet from tears and hugged the plush he had given me.
Ten years have passed since then and some things have remained the same. Today is my birthday, and he keeps me prisoner in this damn room. He thought I was another mole who discovered his secret. But what he doesn't know is that I've always known him, I was just too afraid to believe him. That's why his parents were killed. They talked about something forbidden and paid for it. And I was the person he'd left out, until now.
Someone kicked me and I felt another rib break. The bruises were already in layers, the old ones slowly healing. In some parts of my body the wounds were still festering and blood flowed when I opened them as I struggled. My back was bruised and my voice was gone from all the screaming. My dry lips begged for some water but I knew they were giving me drugs. They did their job better when my body was numb and my brain was screaming for help. My brown hair was stuck to my forehead and sweat was soaking my face and spreading dust and blood.
- She's not going to stay here forever, a husky male voice had said. I don't give a fuck about this piece of shit. I'd better keep her as a whore.
- Mikail, be careful. If you ever forget who's giving you orders, you might end up like her. I want her alive. Anyone who touches her, even a hair, I will kill them slowly. Is that understood?
- Yes, boss.
The shadow of the second man was approaching me and his musky, citrusy scent filled my nostrils. For a long time now I had adored the perfume, I would wear it so I wouldn't forget it, so I wouldn't let it go again. But at some point I came to hate it, to feel nauseous when I smell it.
Any woman could fall in love with him at first sight. He was everything you wanted in a man, tall, muscular, with a look that brought you to your knees in seconds. His emerald green eyes were a contrast to his tousled black hair. Every time I looked at him, I let myself get lost in the dimples that I loved to touch, to see how the smile touched the sparkle in his eyes. But now, they were like a storm, ready to attack, to war. And I was his bloody fight. His mask could not stand in front of me, I could see beyond his mask and that's why he hated me.
- Everyone leave. I have little business with this little creature. If anyone interrupts me, they will pay for it.
I saw how all the men put their rifles in their jackets and left the room. I haven't been alone with Aleksander for ten years and instead of being happy, I felt fear in my bones. The fear that this will be my last day to live and that I failed to make him suffer. Maybe in another life.
- Now let's see what we do with you. It seems like the boys have already done their job. But, doll, they haven't touched your sensitive spots. What am I supposed to do with you? he asked as he walked in front of me with calculated steps.
- If you still want to hurt me, I'll welcome you with open arms. My voice was hoarse and I knew he was going to take my ass. Unfortunately for him, I was prepared for anything. It wasn't the first time I'd bled to death.
- It seems that the beating wasn't the right thing for you. Now tell me, who sent you? he said, taking my chin between his fingers and squeezing my neck.
- I'm… not… telling you anything. I don't give a shit about what you want. Torture me as much as you want! I said trying to escape from his grip, but he strangled me more.
- Do you think if you act like the whore you are, I'll let you live? Doll, you don't know what you've gotten yourself into. This is your last chance to tell me. Who sent you?
- Nobody.
A slap shook me and my head felt the cold cement. My vision blurred and everything became blurry. My devilish laughter could be heard in the room and I could feel his eye twitching. I was fascinated that I was the one he was losing his cool with, but at the same time I was playing with fire and it was dangerous.
- It seems like you're going to rot here like nothing. I wouldn't waste my bullet on you.
- It seems like you're nothing, I repeated his words. Did I somehow touch your sensitive spot?
- Doll, you still don't know anything. Life has been too kind to you. Whatever game you try now, know that it won't work with me. Nothing is over.
The sound of his footsteps was receding and I knew that, for the moment, I had been given another chance of life.
————————————————————————————————————
I couldn't feel anything anymore. I was like a ghost wandering unconsciously through these chambers of death. As the sun shone through the bars of the window, I knew that the moment of his arrival was coming. My blood was boiling and I was ready to do anything to escape from here, from this prison. If I stayed any longer, I would lose my mind and I had to keep my cool.
The knife I had stolen from a man was cold against my skin. When Aleksander had come to me a few days ago, he could see it if he got closer to me. But he knew that the moment I felt vulnerable, he wouldn't get anything out of me. So he always stayed at a relative distance from me.
That little weapon would help me escape from this hell and I was waiting for his moment of weakness.