Love in Silence
He swore to save me, arms stretched wide,
But shadows called, and love must hide.
If night should claim me, don't forget—
I loved you once. I still love you yet.
Chapter 54
As he walked past me, it was a struggle to maintain my composure. I knew that the clock had already started ticking for Jacobi and me.
Ibrahim might have bought my excuse, but he was going to keep a keen eye on us.
Whatever Jacobi was planning had to happen very, very quickly.
Getting back to my bedroom, all memories of the encounter with Ibrahim were discarded as I lay on my bed, listening to Whitney Houston on my new phone. I shut my eyes, a content smile on my lips, happy that not only had my love not forgotten me, but everything was also still on course for my escape.
I sang out loud, not caring who heard me, elated that my life—my miserable life—had finally become a love story, the kind I had read about and longed for, the kind I never thought I would ever have. But there I was, finally living and breathing that love… except it was so much better than anything I could have ever imagined.
Not up to an hour later, the phone vibrated. The smile on my lips widened when I saw Your Love on the screen.
"As-salamu alaykum, jacobi."
"Wa alaykumu as-salam, habibti," he answered, his voice warm and teasing. "Unless you have another love."
I laughed softly, but he quickly got serious.
"I've been waiting for the right time to call. I didn't want to call while anyone was still within earshot."
We both knew whom he meant by anyone.
"I came up to my room shortly after you left," I answered.
"I hope he didn't harass you. I'm so sorry for being reckless and saying those things. I shouldn't have let him goad me."
I smiled. "It's okay. I was able to convince him that you were just joking. Because you couldn't possibly be my lover and be telling him to his face, could you?"
"I'm really sorry for putting you in that position, zeynep. He could have hurt you," he said, his voice now sombre. "You're not safe there. I don't for a minute believe that he bought your story. We need to get you out of there quicker than I originally planned. Wallahi, I won't be able to handle it if he hurts you like he did the last time."
What was left unsaid was that there was a high possibility that I wouldn't even survive another violent attack.
Jacobi was quiet for a while before finally speaking.
"Tomorrow night. We'll leave tomorrow night. I have a few procedures at the General Hospital, and I'll be in Mississippi for most of the day. When I get back, we'll find a way to get you out of there. I can arrange for you to be taken to Atlanta, and I'll meet you there."
"And then what?" I asked. "What happens after that? Am I going to remain there, where the minister can easily find me? Are you still going to stay here in Boston? I know you can't leave your father's hospital, so what's going to happen to us?"
"One step at a time, ya qalbi. I have an airtight plan. Trust me," he answered. "Nothing will happen to you under my watch. That I can guarantee."
"Hurry. I can't wait to get out of here," I moaned in frustration.
"And I can't wait to be with you."
And just like that, all my worries and fears evaporated and were instead replaced with hope, anticipation… and love. The kind of love that made your heart sing and lifted you off your feet.
"Did you find the song on the phone?" he asked.
"Find it? I've been listening to it since you left," I answered, the smile now back on my lips.
"It's funny—even though I've always loved that song, the lyrics didn't resonate as much as they do now," he said. "When I sang it, it could have been written for you and me, Zeynep. Especially the last stanza of the song."
I shut my eyes, remembering the words and hearing the song as audibly as if it were still playing on my phone.
As I listened, I whispered under my breath, "Alhamdulillah." Because despite the danger and uncertainty, I had found love in the most unlikely place.
You used to hold me like I was something sacred.
Like I was the one thing in this world you were sure of.
Now you barely look at me.
And when you do, it's like you're looking through me,
like I'm not even there anymore.
I don't know when it started.
Maybe it was the quiet mornings
that used to feel peaceful,
but now feel... empty.
Or the way you stopped saying goodnight like you meant it.
It's the little things, you know?
You used to ask me how my day was.
Now I don't think you even notice when I come home late.
You used to laugh at my jokes.
Now they just hang in the air, awkward and unwanted.
I'm still here.
Still choosing you, every day.
But I can feel that you're not choosing me back.
And that hurts more than if you'd just walked away.
Because at least then I'd know.
Now I'm stuck in this in-between.
Loving someone who's still beside me
but already gone.
What changed?
Was it me?
Did I stop being enough for you?
Or did you just stop trying?
I lie awake wondering
how love can turn cold
while we're still pretending to sleep in the same bed.
And the worst part?
I'd still fight for us…
Even if I'm the only one left in the ring
"You are my soulmate, Zeynep. You're the one I've been waiting for all my life. I'm going to do everything, everything, to be with you."
Those were the words of assurance that enveloped me that night, enveloped me like we were still lying in each other's arms the way we had the night everything changed between us…and the night before everything did change