Killing. It was something that disgusted me when I was a child.
Killing is a part of life, I'm certain. But a part of life I didn't want to participate on.
I told myself that if I were to become a warden, I would never kill anyone.
But I have already seen many people die. At the hands of monsters, at the hands of bandits, or even bandits at the hands of guards.
I've come to accept that one day I'll have to do it. But, I still haven't killed anyone. I swore that I would only do it if I had no other choice.
The bodyguard who is invested in 'having fun' with me gets nearer. The two remaining bodyguards keep close to him. Amused by what's happening.
The church is very roomy, and there aren't any seats. I have more than enough space to fight.
Running away is not an option. If I do, they could rat me out or talk shit about me. And, I'll also won't get my money. Besides, that's even if they let me go. If they chase me around the village, my family will hear it.
I'm pretty sure that the only way out of this is fighting.
What's even more worrisome is the fact that I might have to kill them. If I let them go, they will want revenge. Especially considering the way they are acting.
This axe has given me a lot of trouble. I'm wondering if those now dusty and dirty coins will make up for all this trouble.
I take a look at the axe: it's in very bad condition, there is some rust in the blade and the wood is a bit rotten.
There is also an engraving. Wait, an engraving? Yeah! It's true. That warden said that his axe had an engraving with his name.
The engraving says... Senka.
A punch landed in my face, making me fall to the ground. I fell unconscious, instantly. Everything turned white.
***
"It's not so easy, isn't it?" A voice says.
I look around to find the source of the voice, but I only see white.
It seems that I am in some kind of white room. Wait, something is approaching.
It gets closer disturbingly fast. Before I can realize how fast exactly, it's already here.
In front of me stands someone. He is a tall and austere man. I recognize him. He is Senka!
"Yo, did you miss me?" He says.
"How is it that you are here?"
"I am not here exactly. I am a fragment of your soul. And this." He points everywhere around him. "Is your inner self."
"I don't get it," I say, confused.
"I'll break it down for you." He takes a moment before continuing. "I am a part of you."
"Why am I here?"
"I don't know." He shrugs.
"You don't know?"
"Exactly. I am a part of you, I can't tell you something that you don't know."
"Senka is a part of me?"
"This place is your inner self. The things you cherish, the things that gave you a strong impression, the things you wish for; become a part of you and are transformed into fragments." He tries to see if I'm still listening. "I am but one of those fragments."
"So you are not alive. You're just a reflection of me?"
"Affirmative."
I look around trying to see another one of those "fragments" but I don't see anything else.
"And the rest of my soul's fragments?"
"I am the only one."
"What?! That doesn't make any sense. That dumb warden I met is the only fragment I have in my soul?"
"Perhaps I was the only thing that gave you a strong impression. I don't know."
"That's impossible. Before all this crap, I barely thought of you." Saying a part of myself, 'you', made me feel strange.
"Like I said, I don't know. You should ask someone else, like that witch, for example."
"What do you know then?"
"I know that you are in trouble. And, I might be able to help you."
"How?"
"This place is your inner self. The more fragments it has, the stronger you get. Currently, I'm the only fragment, but you could add more. All you need to do is make a decision."
"A decision?"
"Decide who you are. Who do you want to become? What is that you truly wish for?"
"I want to become a warden."
Senka? Shakes his head. "You don't. The only thing related to wardens that you have in your inner self is me."
"But is the only thing I want!"
Senka looks at me with pity. "When I was a warden, there was something that drove me. A sense of duty that gave me a purpose. A devotion to the empire. Maybe you had a purpose when you were a child. But you lost it. The only thing remaining is your impression of me."
"You are joking, right?" I stared at him in disbelief.
"You need to find a new purpose. If being a warden doesn't thrill you like before, then find something else that does." He looks around the room. "If you do, you will become stronger."
Something new that thrills me? Like what? I couldn't think of anything. Now that I'm thinking about it, has being a warden all that I ever cared about?
Maybe I was guilty of being childish enough to try to become a warden despite what the villagers thought. And that made me avoid having any other wishes or desires?
After seeing my visible doubts, Senka repeats. "What do you want?"
The answer came to me sooner than I expected.
"I want to survive. I want to get stronger. I want to be able to fulfill all my desires, whichever they are."
"Not what I expected to hear of a hero wannabe." He looks surprised.
"If I desire to be a hero. So be it." I say with resolve.
"Ok." He nods. "You have been heard." He thinks about something before adding. "By yourself."
Crack.
The white room is breaking. Everything vibrates and changes. Senka starts to disappear. The place gets turned upside down. Literally.
I fell into the abyss. The last thing I see is Senka smiling at me.
***
"Ha ha ha! See that? One punch." A bodyguard says.
"He was just a pussy." Another one adds.
Before them stands a teenager. He is on the ground, unconscious.
"You guys had fun, right? Let's go. One of you grab the axe and let's leave." Gerber says.
"No, let's go on and kill him."
"My thoughts exactly."
Gerber stares at them in disbelief. He tries to say something else but stops.
The bodyguards approach the fallen teenager, one of them unsheathes his sword.
The eyes of the teenager suddenly opened.