Chapter 46: Cracks Beneath the Smile
The morning sun rose over Hoshikawa City, painting the sky in soft shades of pink and gold.
It should have felt peaceful.
But to Naoto, the light felt too bright, too harsh, as if it was exposing the fractures he was trying so desperately to hide.
He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and stared up at the Hayato mansion.
Another day.
Another performance.
He plastered on a smile and rang the bell.
Within minutes, the heavy doors swung open—and there she was.
Rika.
Dressed casually in a soft sweater and skirt, her hair a little messy, her face lit up the moment she saw him.
For a second, Naoto's heart twisted painfully.
She still looked at him like he was her safe place.
Her anchor.
"Good morning!" she said brightly, stepping aside to let him in. "You're early."
Naoto laughed softly, forcing the sound out.
"Yeah, figured we could get a head start."
Rika beamed and tugged him inside.
For a little while, as they spread out books and notes across the large table, it almost felt normal.
Almost.
---
But cracks began to show.
Naoto caught himself zoning out mid-sentence.
He would stare at Rika's hands, so small and full of life, and think about how easily this happiness could be crushed.
Once, he had teased her during study breaks.
Once, he had stolen her pencils just to make her pout.
Today, he just smiled and nodded, pretending.
Rika noticed.
She frowned slightly when he flinched away from her hand brushing his.
She tilted her head when he didn't laugh at her clumsy jokes.
"Naoto," she said finally, setting her pen down. "Are you okay?"
He froze.
For a moment, he almost told her everything.
About Shinji Hayato.
About the deal he had made last night.
About how much he wanted to protect her—and how dirty he felt doing it.
But he couldn't.
Rika deserved to live in a world where she could trust the people she loved.
So he lied.
"I'm fine," he said, flashing a quick grin. "Just tired. Stayed up too late studying."
Her frown deepened.
But she nodded slowly.
"If you're sure..."
"I'm sure," he said.
He hated how easy it was becoming to lie.
---
Later that afternoon, the others came over.
Aiko, Souta, Haruki, Yuna—all laughing, teasing, filling the house with warmth.
Naoto sat on the edge of the group, smiling when he was supposed to, laughing when they expected him to.
Rika kept sneaking glances at him, worry clouding her eyes.
He pretended not to notice.
---
It was Himari who saw through him first.
As the sun began to set and the others prepared to leave, she lingered behind.
She caught Naoto's sleeve gently as he headed for the door.
"Stay for a second?" she asked quietly.
Naoto hesitated.
But he nodded.
The others waved goodbye, the heavy door swinging shut behind them.
Now it was just the two of them.
The girl who had known him before all of this.
Himari studied him with those deep, gentle eyes.
"You're hurting," she said simply.
Naoto didn't answer.
"You're lying to them," Himari added, softer this time. "And to yourself."
His fists clenched at his sides.
"I have to," he said hoarsely. "It's the only way to keep them safe."
Himari stepped closer.
"You're not alone, you know," she whispered. "You don't have to carry it all by yourself."
A lump rose in Naoto's throat.
He wanted to believe her.
God, he wanted to.
But the image of Shinji's cold eyes flashed through his mind.
The silent threat hovering over everyone he loved.
He shook his head.
"You don't understand," he said. "If I slip—if I make even one wrong move—"
"They'll be hurt," Himari finished for him.
Naoto looked at her sharply.
She smiled sadly.
"I understand more than you think."
---
They stood in silence for a long moment, the last rays of sun filtering through the windows, painting the room in gold.
Finally, Himari reached out and took his hand—gently, like she was afraid he would break.
"You don't have to tell me everything," she said. "Not yet. But don't shut me out."
Her touch was warm.
Steady.
Real.
And for the first time all day, Naoto felt like he could breathe again.
Even if just a little.
He squeezed her hand back, very lightly.
"Okay," he whispered.
Himari smiled—a soft, beautiful thing that made his heart ache.
"You're stronger than you think, Naoto," she said. "And you're not a pawn. Not to me."
He almost broke then.
Almost told her everything.
But he held it back.
For now.
---
As he left the Hayato mansion that night, walking into the cool twilight, Naoto felt the burden on his shoulders shift just slightly.
He wasn't free.
He wasn't safe.
But he wasn't alone either.
And sometimes, that was enough to keep going.
One step at a time.
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End of Chapter 46
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