"Seriously?!"
She got irritated when she saw me still standing there like that.
"Alright, alright, don't get mad."
Two minutes later—
"You kept me waiting too long."
She's eyeing me… Me.
I'm solid as a rock.
"The astsolis always arrive last," I said with a cocky grin.
Lia furrowed her brows but couldn't hide the smile tugging at her lips.
"Try being noble first, then you can throw around your astsolis title."
I shrugged. "You're the one who called me, remember."
A crow was perched by the window, watching us intently. I turned to Lia, then back to the bird.
"Why is that thing still here?"
Lia let out a light laugh and shrugged. "Maybe it likes you."
"Fantastic. Just what I needed—my new best friend, a crow."
Lia shook her head and stepped forward. "Come on. If you think you can beat me, you're seriously delusional."
"Me? Not beat you?" I rolled my eyes, though I was starting to enjoy myself. "Watch and see."
As Lia picked up the pace, I followed. The crisp morning air bit at my face. There was still a twinge of unease in me… but also a strange excitement. I never wanted to be part of this trial. But now… maybe this was the beginning of something.
—
When Lia led me to the selection grounds, the crowd gathered in the square immediately turned to look. Everyone seemed to know each other—young, old, hunters, farmers… But most of the stares locked onto me.
Whispers quickly spread:
"Edric's boy is joining too?"
"He's not really Edric's son, just lived with him."
"There's still a few spots left, we might stand a chance."
"He's not bad. Edric trained him, after all."
"Dragging Lia around like that—what a brute!"
"He might survive just because he's a hunter, but still…"
"If Edric taught him, he won't go down easy."
"Can he survive on his own though?"
"Didn't think he'd chase after this adventure stuff, but hey—he's not bad to look at."
Lia tugged at my sleeve, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nearly lost my balance.
"That's not where you should be focused right now."
How much had she heard? Judging by her tone, she didn't seem to care much.
"Alright, alright…" I grumbled.
Lia nodded in satisfaction. At the center of the square, the leader of the adventuring group—an elf—was watching us closely. He murmured something to a companion, then raised his voice.
"Now that our final participants have arrived, we can begin."
"Just made it, huh? Though from how he's talking, I doubt it was divine revelation that we're the last." I muttered to Lia as we joined the line.
"Yeah, yeah, punctuality is my strong suit," I added with a smirk.
This girl is more arrogant than I am—I'm certain of it.
Lia bumped into me lightly, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You ready, hunter?"
I gave a small grin. "Perfect. This is going to be fun."
As we stepped toward the center of the square, the crowd fell quiet. The first stage was about to begin.
—
Suddenly, a deep rumble echoed from the forest. Out of the trees, a few translucent, gooey creatures emerged. Slimes. From their sluggish movements, it was clear they were low-ranked in the classification system. But why here, and why now, right in the middle of the selection? Was this one of those flashy tests the adventurer team was known for? The whispers last night… the secretive preparations… was this it? Were we being judged by how well we could handle these slimy nuisances? My thoughts raced. This should be easy for Lia. Maybe I could flunk and get out of this without—
"Shit…" I muttered under my breath.
My eyes drifted to Lia, and what I saw in the forest's dim light made my confusion skyrocket.
Lia… was petting a slime?
The creature didn't seem bothered at all. In fact, it looked like it was enjoying her touch—quivering gently under her fingers.
Damn those twisted beauty standards! It's a slime, Lia! A gooey, shapeless blob!
A confused noise escaped me.
"Lia… what are you doing?" I asked, my voice thick with disbelief. The question echoed softly in the quiet forest, mingling with rustling leaves and distant birdsong.
She shrugged. "I like slime! Just touch it—it's all soft and squishy!"
Crouched low near the damp forest floor, she kneaded the creature's jiggly body with both hands, almost like she was working dough. The slime rippled under her touch, letting out tiny bubbling sounds like it was… purring?
My confusion deepened. "Are slimes even meant to be petted?" I asked, still leaning against a thick oak tree, trying to make sense of the scene.
Lia looked up and gave me a cheerful smile. "Why else would they be so squishy? Look at it! It's like a warm jelly cloud! They're adorable! So soft, and blobby, and wiggly—and when you press them, they go all 'bloop bloop'—how can you not love that?"
Her eyes sparkled with delight, and even in the forest's shadows, the joy on her face was unmistakable. Her cheeks were flushed, glowing with childlike glee.
Meanwhile, the other participants had taken action—slashing, smashing, swinging blades and sticks at the unsuspecting slimes. Wet, sloppy sounds filled the air with each impact. Slime bits splattered across leaves, grass, and even on a few horrified faces.
It was brutal. It was gross. And for Lia, it had to be horrifying.
Instinctively, I stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the carnage. I didn't say anything. Just… stood there. Shielding her from the sticky mess and the wet, splattering chaos.
If nothing else… let her keep believing these blobs are just cuddly friends..
The trial was nearly over. Neither Lia nor I had killed a single slime.
Good. That's more than enough to get disqualified.
Thankfully, Lia can't even hurt an animal—let alone a slime.
The elf leading the group called it.
"Lia, you better hide that slime somewhere. Elves don't like training beasts being treated like pets."
"What do you mean?"
She clutched the slime tighter. Clearly didn't want to let it go.
"Just toss it into the woods. Pick it up later—if it survives."
"But but but but—"
I didn't wait for her to finish. I grabbed the slime and threw it into the woods.
The elf saw it, but luckily didn't turn it into a target.
Everyone was gathered. I felt relaxed—I knew we passed.
The elf shouted with that booming voice of his:
"Those who passed: Bron Thornhammer, Roman Reedwell, Mira Fielddaughter, Rika Millrun, Elan Ironwhistle… Rowan, Lia Fernbrook."
What the hell?
We didn't even kill a slime.
Damn elf and his half-assed evaluation system.
Lia jumped in front of me with joy, cutting off my well-deserved rant.
"We passed! That was suuuper easy! NYEHEHEHE!"
Yeah, sure. Breathe and you pass, apparently.
"Yay."
Didn't even try to hide how unimpressed I was.
"No worries, I'll carry next round. Just stick close, that's enough."
Said it like she was a damn queen. I swear her nose just got sharper.
"Right."
The elf started casting magic to prep the next area. Floating stones lined up in mid-air.
"This round is for the boys. Carry those stones up to the top of that hill."
The girls... or women, whatever, headed for the wagon waiting for them.
Before Lia left, she turned and pointed at me:
"If you lose, I swear we're done. You're the big hunter, right? I'll be waiting at the top."
The top?
We haven't even started climbing yet, what the hell?
"Sure. Just don't fall off the wagon."
"Haha."
She laughed—mocking, of course.
Goddamn... So she gets to screw around again, and I'm the one who has to pretend my arm hurts or my foot slipped or whatever just to cover for her...
Why is it like this again?
Also, why the hell is this even gendered?
Seriously, have some mercy…
The stones—yeah, "stones"—we were told to carry were massive. Total overkill.
"Rowan, you lucky bastard!"
"When's the wedding, bro?"
"Man, who's gonna carry this thing now?"
"Bro this ain't fair, why don't the girls carry anything?"
"By the gods!"
That last one came from Bron, the blacksmith's kid.
He lifted his stone like it was made of cotton.
I was trained to hunt, damn it.
Not to lift bloody boulders...
...Complaining won't help.
In the end, Lia'll drop out anyway.
No way she lucks her way through every round…
Hopefully.