The day was supposed to go normally in Vindra City, the liveliest port in West Blue, famous for its chaotic yet magical night market. Colorful lanterns dangled like strange fruits in the sky, the smell of salted fish assaulted the nostrils, and merchants shouted about everything from lion-print underwear to curry-flavored grilled corn.
Bastien and Juno, on a sacred mission to buy ship supplies, were busy purchasing bolts, steel ropes, and—at Juno's request—paint in the color of "super awesome blue."
Arthur? Within the first five minutes, he had already bolted from the shopping list to join a knife-throwing contest for the ultimate prize: a hideously bright yellow plastic chicken that practically glowed with how tacky it was.
And of course, trouble appeared just when everything felt a little too peaceful.
From between the fried food stalls, a group of thuggish men emerged. Tall, burly, reeking of stale beer, with burning axe tattoos on their shoulders—they were the Wind Axe Crew, local pirates (more often drunk than sailing). Their hair? Some looked like dead seaweed, others like sweaty possum tails.
At their center stood their captain: Raggy the Fang—short, muscular, with fangs poking out like a starving vampire, wearing a black coat tragically torn under the arms and... a cheap plastic flower tucked into his belt.
The moment Raggy saw Juno, he stared as if struck by a falling golden meteor.
"My god... the Goddess of the Night Market..." he whispered, placing a hand dramatically over his heart.
Juno, busy lifting two giant cans of paint, didn't notice her new admirer. Arthur, holding up his newly won plastic chicken in triumph, glanced over and frowned.
"...Why's that guy looking at Juno like he just saw free lamb satay?"
One of Raggy's crewmates whispered, "Captain! Focus! We're supposed to—"
"Shut up!" Raggy barked dramatically. "Love is more important than business!"
With the swagger of a drunken Romeo, Raggy marched forward, knelt down, and held out his plastic flower toward Juno.
"Oh Goddess of Wrenches and Steel Beams... Will you be the Queen of my Heart?"
Everyone held their breath. Juno lifted her head, eyeing Raggy from head to toe like she was appraising the price of rotten chicken. Without a word, she swung one of the paint cans.
TONK!
The can smacked straight into Raggy's skull. Blue paint splattered all over him, turning him into a wet, blue creature resembling a badly-evolved dolphin.
Arthur nearly rolled on the ground, trying not to laugh. "Super awesome blue, huh? Looks amazing, bro!"
Battle at the Night Market
Raggy froze. Then slowly, his eyes lit up like a stove exploding.
Lifting his axe high, he roared, "If I can't win your love with words... I'LL WIN IT WITH BATTLE!"
Juno smiled sweetly (which, in Juno language, meant danger).
"Go ahead, honey. But don't regret it."
Within seconds, the entire night market turned into a war zone. Merchants fled, stalls caught fire, lanterns fell one by one. Even an ice cream cart exploded for reasons no one understood.
Arthur hugged his plastic chicken tightly. "Spent all that effort winning this chicken... and now I get a free show."
Bastien casually picked up a scrap spear from a souvenir booth and nodded. "Just make sure your chicken survives."
BRAAAKK!!
The battle erupted. Raggy's men charged like a herd of mad bulls.
Two axes flew toward Bastien—he jumped aside, stabbed his spear into the ground, and spun his body around. One bandit was flung into a basket of salted fish. Another got tangled in a lantern pole, dangling like a failed piñata.
One versus three, Bastien stayed calm. With a single spin of his spear, he smacked all three enemies' heads at once. TONK! TONK! TONK! Like a string of falling coconuts.
Meanwhile, Juno moved like a storm. Swinging her massive wooden beam, she slammed two bandits into a dumpling cart and sent another flying into a pile of fried tofu.
"OUT OF THE WAY, LOSERS!" she shouted, spinning around and creating a small whirlwind that sent people's shoes flying everywhere.
Raggy vs. Juno
Raggy charged in, his twin hatchets spinning like drunken fans.
"I'll prove my love through a bloody romantic duel!!" he screamed, saliva spraying everywhere.
Juno met him head-on with a brutal swing of her wooden beam. Axes and beam clashed. DUARRR!!
A small explosion sent lanterns flying and set a meatball cart ablaze. A real chicken ran away in terror.
Raggy attacked wildly, shouting promises:
"I'll buy you a yacht! Diamonds! Cotton candy every night!"
Juno blocked his strikes with one hand while chewing gum. "I already have a ship—a warship—and my singing voice's better than your howling!"
BAM! Her beam smashed into the ground, creating a mini crater.
Raggy slipped and kissed a barrel full of pickled radishes.
Finally, after a ridiculous opera-like duel, Raggy collapsed, hugging the pickle barrel and crying blue tears.
"...So cruel... yet so beautiful..."
Juno stared at him blankly, resting her beam on her shoulder. "Love needs mutual consent, idiot."
Bastien walked over and stabbed a tiny flag labeled 'DEFEAT' into Raggy's back. Arthur blew his toy whistle loudly, as if they had just won the World Cup.
The Next Morning
The island of Vindra was buzzing. But not because of the brutal fight.
Oh no.
People were talking about:
The axe-wielding pirate who fell in love with a fierce engineer.
A boy captain armed with a spear and spoon.
A kid with a plastic chicken who called himself "The Pirate Chicken Trainer."
The Freebone Crew was starting to get famous... not for their strength—but for their sheer WEIRDNESS.
Aboard the Ship
Juno scratched her head with a fork, staring up at the sky in deep regret.
"We need a cooler crew name..."
Arthur raised his hand. "How about... The Lightning Chicken Ship?"
Bastien thought hard, then nodded. "The Storm Chicken Ship."
Juno let out a long sigh. "I'm... kinda regretting joining you guys."
Bastien laughed, gazing at the horizon. "Too late to escape now."
And so, the absurd adventures of the Freebone Crew continued, fueled by wild rumors spreading across all of West Blue.