"Ah, sweet wine, the nectar of the gods, Nothing like that corked dog water in Sparta!" Odysseus proclaimed, raising his cup high.
"Was the wine really so bad my Friend? You say the wine is practically swill!"
"Polites, let me tell you. The Palace is luxurious, greater than my own, the Gardens filled with plants I had never seen nor owned, the Women utterly divine! Yet as soon as I tasted that foul wine? My eyes began to cry!" Odysseus roared with laughter, pulling his arm around Polites as his face began to flush from the alcohol.
"Oh not the women again. First it was Helen whose beauty was unmatched. Now it's her cousin? You really have a taste for Spartans." Polites shook his head with a grin.
And yet when Polites mentioned Spartans it wasn't the woman he thought of, it was the Burley men. He shoved Polites for the imagery.
"Do you wish to regale us again with the tales of the unmatched beauty Penelope? How many poems does that make it now? I can't believe it only took you a few days to fall so smitten."
"I haven't fallen for anyone! I just appreciate her beauty…" Odysseus denied, scratching the back of his head. He had said he wouldn't whore himself out and yet that's practically what he's doing. He had only spent a week there after all!
"Sure my friend. I believe that as much as your claims about your friendship with the Godd-" And as Polites was about to say the obvious, Odysseus even in his drunken state jumped on him, clutching his arms around his friends head to shut him up.
"Is the newly crowned king enjoying himself?" Eurylochus joined in with a mug of ale as he stumbled across Polites and Odysseus entangled.
The mention of his crowning stifled the mood a bit, but Odysseus changed the topic fairly quickly, releasing his grip on Polites…
"I still cant believe you upheld your promise, You are truly a man of your word my King. You let all of your slaves go away. Eumaeus, one of the most loyal brothers we had now returns home to Syra. Perhaps he will return one day, the only one who stayed was your nurse right?"
"Yes, she cared for me as if a second mother. And I had never wanted Eumaeus to be a slave. Once I became king I swore to him I'd release him. I kept my word. No longer is he forced to stay by my side. Who knows? Perhaps he's a prince of a far away land and will become our ally."
"Fairy tales Brother. Fairy tales. If such a thing were possible, I'd marry a goddess!" Polites snickered into his cup of wine as he continued.
"Do we know if Philoctetes is planning on joining the ranks? If we have him on our side, there would be practically no battle at all!" Polites grinned enthusiastically, polishing his newly smithed bifocals.
"True if I had such a bow, No Trojan would be left alone." Odysseus laughed.
"Philoctetes said that he would put down his bow, That his fate is to stay home. To tend to his wife and newly born son. His days of battle are long since done." Eurylochus chimed in, actually paying attention despite his second jug of ale.
"What ruckus do I stumble upon? Why are you all rhyming as if we are in a play? I don't appreciate you altering my words, little poet." Philoctetes stood behind, grabbing Eurylochus's shoulder.
"Only in jest!" Eurylochus chuckled nervously, gesturing grandly toward Odysseus. "Join us! We were just raising a toast to the former and newly crowned king. In a year or so, we will be heading to Troy, even the Gods are frustrated with all the fighting, I imagine our voyage will be blessed by calm seas to turn the tide of war as quickly as possible."
Philoctetes plopped down among them, his presence commanding yet relaxed. "Well, You all are certainly confident your actions will hold any weight Or is little Odysseus afraid of leaving his fiancé alone too long? Perhaps another man will take advantage?"
Odysseus rolled his eyes playfully, "You wound me already with your words! Can a man not have faith that his soon-to-be's fidelity could withstand the test of time? She is unlike any woman I've ever known!"
"Your faith is admirable," Philoctetes chuckled, shaking his head. "But, surely you remember that the heart can sway. If I had no other reason, I'd have left for Troy after the first day! They wouldn't have even lasted a week!" He mimed a bow an arrow towards Odysseus with a soft *Pluck* from his lips.
Odysseus playing along clutched his chest. Philoctetes grinned as he took a hearty drink from his cup.
"Seriously though, Odysseus, are you prepared for what's to come? It's your first true voyage, especially leading other men as their captain and king. Are you prepared? Even if it's a year or two from now, such a thing isn't treated lightly."
"I'll be fine. Enough about me. Surely that bow of yours could sway the tide of this war," Odysseus suggested, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "If I could take possession of it, I might have a chance at ending the war without setting foot on the battlefield."
"That sounds a lot like cowardice and definitely like greed. However I see your point. I shall lend you my bow. Treat it as a temporary gift, my King. If you lose it, be prepared to offer your treasury as the bow of Heracles is one of a kind. I wonder if you'd even be able to string it with those noodle arms of yours."
"That would truly rally the troops! A legendary bow in one hand and a legendary sword in the other! Surely your wife could attest to that!" Eurylochus roared with laughter, the others soon joined in with tears in their eyes!
"The statues would be legendary!" Polites cheered, his innocent mind not processing it.
Odysseus deadpanned, deciding to pour the goblet of wine over Eurylochus, earning himself a splash of ale in response.
And in response to that, a metal goblet smacked against Eurylochus's head, forcing him to headbutt, Philoctetes. The Veteran soldier wasn't taking that lying down and decided to lift Eurylochus's entire body over his head and threw him into another table like a ragdoll.
The planks of that table lifted, and as if an act of god the soldiers that surround it all met with wine and ale to the face.
A Brawl soon formed, drunk soldiers slowly joining it as the tavern became a complete mess. Certainly a chunk out of the Treasury…