The days following Xu Jin's visit were marked by an increasing sense of distance between Yuan and Yueli, a distance that neither of them could bridge.
Yuan found himself slipping into old habits—he buried himself in his work, focusing on his political duties and leaving her to the quiet emptiness of the Lin household. At night, they shared a meal, but it was only that—just a meal. There was no conversation, no warmth. He watched as Yueli, ever poised, picked at her food, her mind clearly elsewhere. She had become a woman of quiet resolve, one who no longer expected anything from him.
And yet, despite the silence between them, Yuan could not escape the guilt that clawed at him, the knowledge that he had allowed this to happen.
….
One afternoon, he returned to the estate earlier than usual, his mind heavy with thoughts of the future. As he walked through the courtyard, he saw Yueli standing by the plum tree, her gaze faraway, her back to him.
She was beautiful in the way she always had been—graceful, composed, untouchable.
His footsteps faltered as he watched her.
She's still the same.
But she wasn't, not anymore.
She had changed.
The woman who once sought his approval, who had once looked to him for affection, was now someone else—someone beyond his reach.
"Yueli," he called, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears.
She turned slowly, her expression neutral but her eyes—those eyes—told a different story. She had seen him coming, had known he would be there, but the warmth she had once held for him was gone. It was as if the space between them had become too wide to fill.
"My lord," she replied softly, her voice quiet, as if there were nothing left to say.
Yuan wanted to speak, wanted to ask her how she was, what was on her mind, but the words wouldn't come. He had never been good at this—at reaching her, at breaking the walls that had slowly grown between them.
He took a step forward. "You're… leaving again?"
Yueli nodded, a gentle motion. "lord Xu Jin has invited me to consult again. There is a matter of court medicine that needs attention."
His chest tightened. Xu Jin.
Of course.
He had known this was coming. The more she spoke with him, the more she shone at court, the further she would slip away from him. And yet, despite the fear clawing at him, he couldn't bring himself to ask her to stay.
"Yueli," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you… still need me?"
The question hung in the air, heavy and unspoken.
Yueli's gaze flickered, just for a moment, before she looked away, the soft wind pulling at the strands of her hair. She didn't answer immediately, but when she did, it was with a sadness that cut deeper than anything he had felt in a long time.
she stared at him, her voice tinged with a sorrow that seemed to settle between them. "I would have liked to."
….
That evening, as Yueli prepared for her journey to the capital, Yuan sat in his study, his thoughts spinning. The letter from Xu Jin was still on his desk, though he had never opened it. The words on the page felt like a foreign language now.
He had allowed this to happen, had pushed her away with his silence, with his failure to see her for what she truly was.
And now, Xu Jin was taking her away—if not physically, then emotionally.
"A woman of Lin household running around like a common woman from the Red District", Dowager Lin spoke from the shadow with a look of disgust on her face, as Yueli prepared to leave.
"Don't worry mother, she just forgot her place and brother seems to be going easy on her reins." One of the girls spoke.
The other added, "We just need to put her back her place."
….
Yueli stood at the doorway, ready to leave. The carriage awaited her, the shadows of night falling across the Lin estate.
Yuan stood in the hall, his hands trembling at his sides. He wanted to stop her, to beg her to stay, but the words were trapped in his chest, lodged too deep to escape.
But Yueli didn't wait for him to speak. She was already halfway through the door when she turned, her face soft with the weight of everything unspoken between them.
"My lord," she said, her voice calm, almost detached. "I will be gone for some time. Please, take care."
And then, she left.
As the door closed softly behind her, Yuan's world seemed to fall silent.
….
Alone in his study, Yuan slumped into his chair, the weight of his failures crashing down on him. What have I done?
In the quiet that followed, the sound of distant footsteps faded into nothingness.
….
Later that night, after Yueli had left, Yuan walked through the halls of the Lin estate, the stillness of the house like a shroud over him. He passed by the servants' quarters, the kitchens, the rooms where his family gathered.
It was all so empty.
He stopped at the threshold of his own chambers, staring into the shadows.
But the emptiness of the house could not compare to the emptiness inside him.
….
The next day, Yueli would be far away—her presence already fading like a dream. Yuan sat in the quiet of his study, staring out into the garden, waiting for the moment when everything would finally break.