It was expected of girls and women to know how to care for a child. Unfortunately, it is not an innate talent but rather a skill that girls are forced to learn due to being expected to provide free childcare for younger children.
The lack of the skill makes one be considered less than a woman. Therefore, almost all women become mothers even when they do not have children. Over time, it becomes second nature to watch out for children.
I looked at the baby in my arms with fondness. He was quite the perfect angel, as Eunice said.
"You are a natural," Marta said warmly. "When do you plan to have one of your own?"
Ah, yes.
It is always when, not if.
I looked at the face of the surprisingly adorable baby to avoid giving Marta the stink eye.
"I do not plan to have children. It is just not my thing." I said before, raising my head to look at Marta.
As expected, her face lost some of the warmth from earlier.
I have never understood why people, both male and female, are offended when a woman rejects motherhood. Each person has the choice of whether to procreate or not. After all, all the children I would have had, if I did, would have nothing to do with Marta.
"Are you focused on your career?" Marta asked. "We have several women in the chapter who work, and they have sufficient time to have a family. If you have a good husband, I am sure he will support you."
"It is not that. I just do not want children," I said before quickly continuing before I received more questions. "Can you tell me why you find joy in being a wife and a mother?"
Marta's slight chill dissipated. "I always wanted to be a mother, but I was not sure if I would be blessed, especially with so many little angels. As you are familiar with our faith, you cannot be careless in this matter."
"You must find a good husband and wed before you can even consider children. I also wanted to be a full-time wife and mother, so I had to be clear about that in my heart. I did not want to be too tired to personally care for my children."
Marta looked at me with something between compassion and pity.
"I love to see career women making their way in the world, but I do not think anything can compare to the joy of motherhood. I wanted it. I craved it. I felt like it was always my calling to bring life into this world."
Somehow, I felt myself drawn into her words, her story.
I admit that since I entered the chapter, I felt like my heart had gone still, quiet, dead. Yes, I listened and understood what I had heard so far, but I could not empathise because I felt that it was like learning theoretical physics.
The thoughts and calculations can be great, but I think going to a parallel universe is more preferable.
However, as I looked at Marta and listened, I felt the familiar tendrils of my empathy. I could feel and see how she felt, especially as I held her baby boy in her arms. I could feel her yearning for a life I feared.
"Still, I was afraid because I heard stories about how a lot of women ended up in bad marriages. What I wanted was a home where I could create a nurturing environment. So, I made a promise. I would not have children until I find a husband who shares the same values and vision for the future."
I nodded, slightly rocking the baby as he squirmed in my arms.
"When I found him, I was beyond overjoyed. I am not claiming it was love at first sight, but I think it was an ordained moment. Still, I wanted to be sure. I talked to my priest, my family and the older women in the chapter."
"After that, I was certain, and it was easy to get married. I have never looked back, and I am happy to have as many children as I am blessed with. I cannot imagine being happier than I am right now."
Marta sighed before continuing.
"I try to mentor girls to understand the joys of being a helpmeet and a mother. Unfortunately, I can only do so much, but I like to think I am making a change, one day at a time. I want young girls to understand that wanting to be just a wife and mother is not oppression."
I smile genuinely. "I am glad you have achieved the life you want."
To be honest, I finally felt a knot freed from my heart. Of course, I did not change my mind about not getting married and having children, but I was finally able to understand why women would choose such a life. It felt like an epiphany.
I have always believed every woman should have the freedom of choice, even when I do not understand their choices. Now, I could see that there was a certain charm and contentment for those who wanted Marta's life.
"What about you?" Marta asked, responding to my earlier statement.
"Some of us are just meant to hear other people's stories," I said before handing the baby back to her. "I need to use the restroom. Can you point me to the right way?"
Marta seemed like she wanted to say something else, but one can hardly disrupt when a person must answer the call of nature. She could only tell me the directions. I stood and left the room quickly to show urgency.
True to my word, I used the restroom. The entire process was without incident until the door opened while I was washing my hands. A woman entered and locked the door, positively scaring me when I saw her through the mirror.
She was a tall woman, slightly above middle age, but there was an elegance around her. It was exactly what one would expect from a rich politician's wife. I did not recognise her at first until I did.
My mouth opened slightly.
"So, you do recognise me?"