All my thoughts going home were a mess.
Will I ever achieve all my dreams?
Is it possible for someone like me, born into this chaos, to ever find a way out?
Because at this point, it felt like I was standing at the edge, about to let go.
The cold night air slapped against my cheeks as I walked, each step feeling heavier than the last.
In my mind, I kept replaying the scene from the restaurant — that arrogant man, the way his hand reached for me like I was some object he could buy.
How I wish I could meet that big baffoon of a man again.
I would slap him over and over again, not for revenge… but just to take my anger away.
But even if I did meet him, what would I really do?
I couldn't afford to lose two jobs. I couldn't afford anything at all.
Maybe life was just like math — you solve one problem, and another one pops up.
Or maybe life was a language — and only those who understood it could live without pain.
The rest of us were just stuttering, trying to learn, suffering in the process.
But maybe… maybe it's never too late.
I sighed, almost convincing myself.
"I will continue," I whispered into the night air. "It is never too late."
I lamented over it, dragging my sore feet along the cracked sidewalk toward home.
But the moment I reached the small dusty gate of our house, my heart froze.
I could hear shouting — my mother's voice, trembling with fear, and my younger siblings crying uncontrollably.
I dropped my bag and rushed inside, almost slipping on the broken tiles.
There, lying on the floor, was Rian — my little brother — bleeding from his forehead, his legs twisted in an unnatural way.
"What happened?!" I screamed, pushing everyone aside to kneel next to him.
"He…he was playing outside and a motorcycle hit him," one of my sisters cried out.
My mother was frantic, shaking Rian like she could will him awake.
"We need to take him to the hospital!" I shouted.
"But… but we don't have money for that kind of hospital, Amelia," my mother stammered, panic filling her eyes.
She looked small, broken — the strong woman I once knew was now helpless in front of me.
"I don't care, Mama! If we don't take him now, he will die!" I barked back, tears streaming down my face.
Somehow, I managed to convince her.
We carried Rian to the road and begged a neighbor to drive us.
The ride to the hospital felt like an endless nightmare — Rian moaning weakly, my hands trembling, prayers falling from my lips I wasn't even aware what I was saying.
When we arrived at the hospital, the bright fluorescent lights felt cruel.
The scent of disinfectant, the buzz of nurses moving patients around, the cries of other families… it all blurred together in a dizzy haze.
"Please, someone help!" I cried out as we barged into the emergency ward.
A nurse rushed toward us, her face sharp with urgency, and they took Rian from my arms.
I stood there frozen, my arms feeling empty, my heart pounding out of fear .
Minutes felt like hours.
We could finally enter his ward after stabilizing the situation a bit
The fluorescent lights above flickered as I sat beside Rian, his small hand grasping mine with surprising strength, even in his pain. The bustling noise of the hospital seemed miles away, muffled by the storm raging inside me. His breaths were shallow, uneven, his face pale beneath the dim light.
I couldn't believe this was happening.
I had been running on empty stomach for days now—juggling jobs, trying to push through the exhaustion. But seeing Rian hurt like this, lying on that stretcher, made every ounce of fatigue feel like a distant memory. He was my responsibility. And if something happened to him…
"Miss, we've done the initial checks. But before we proceed, we'll need a deposit for the surgery." The nurse's voice cut through my thoughts.
I looked up, almost in disbelief, as she spoke again. "We require $2,500 upfront. If you don't have that right now, we can't admit him for the procedure."
I blinked, unsure if I heard her correctly. The noise around me started to blur as my brain struggled to comprehend.
"Two thousand… five hundred?" I repeated, my voice trembling.
"Yes, ma'am. That's the amount we need before we can begin any treatment. You can pay with credit or…?"
I stood there, frozen. $2,500. How was I supposed to come up with that? I barely made enough to cover my own bills, let alone this. My legs felt like jelly, my knees weak, as the weight of it all crashed down on me. Rian's life hung in the balance, and all I could do was stand there, helpless.
"Please," I pleaded, my voice breaking. "Please, you have to do something. He's my brother. He needs help right now."
The nurse's expression softened, but the reality of the situation didn't change. She shook her head gently. "I understand, but the policy is clear. Without the deposit, we cannot proceed."
I backed away, feeling the walls of the hospital closing in on me. Every part of me screamed in frustration, in anger. How could this be happening? How could the world be so damn cold?
I tried to keep it together as I walked out of the ER, but the tears were already welling up in my eyes. I couldn't let them see me break down—not in front of Rian. But when I stepped outside into the crisp air, the coolness of the night felt like a slap in the face.
I started to pace back and forth, the weight of the world on my shoulders. I couldn't afford to lose him. I couldn't let him suffer because I was too poor to save him.
My mind raced, but the thoughts just collided in chaos—What am I going to do? Who can I ask? There's no way I can come up with that kind of money on my own.
I pressed my hands against my face, trying to hold back the tears, but they came anyway, rolling down my cheeks, relentless.
"I can't… I just can't…" I whispered through clenched teeth.
I had never felt so small, so powerless in my life.
I looked around, at the busy streets of the city, people walking by, completely unaware of the storm I was weathering. My head spun, my heart racing. The thought of losing Rian—it tore at me, gnawing away at whatever hope I had left.
And then, in a moment of sheer frustration and despair, I started running.
I didn't know where I was going, but I had to move. I had to get away from the suffocating reality that was suffocating me. As I ran, the world seemed to blur, my breath coming in ragged gasps. The city's lights flickered by, but I couldn't focus. All I could hear was the pounding of my feet against the pavement, and the deafening silence of my own mind.
I collapsed against a streetlight, my body shaking. The cool night air felt like ice against my skin, but it didn't matter. My mind was too far gone to care. I sank to my knees, unable to breathe properly, my chest tightening with every sob that escaped me.
I didn't care anymore. I was done.
I couldn't do it anymore. The weight of everything—my dreams, my family, my brokenness—it was all too much.
And I couldn't fix it. I couldn't save him.