It really doesn't.
Why do I have to go through this.
''Finally, you're here. Look what I made for you. Your favorite.''
''Oh no, you didn't have to.''
You really didn't have to.
''Come on, honey. You deserve it. Take it as a gift for your promotion.''
A gift? This is what you consider a gift? I mean I would've thought of as gift too if she didn't cook it for me every two months. Now I just hate it.
''I added some spices to the chicken to give it more flavor; I saw it on TikTok.''
''Oh, I can taste it, it's actually nice.''
Would've been better if you didn't cook it.
''Oh, thank you.''
''You should do it more often; it adds new flavors to the pasta too.''
I hope you can tell I'm being sarcastic.
''You think so? I'll definitely do it for you, my love.''
Oh God, she'll actually do it. I've never met a more idiotic person in my life. I don't how she became like this, I can't believe I used to love this witch. How did I fall for her? She did warn me on our first date.
...
(8 years ago)
''So, tell me about yourself.''
''There's nothing much to tell.''
Damn you're cute when you're shy.
''Come on, you don't have to be shy.''
''I guess, I'm a respectful person, I like to talk, and I love cooking.''
Shit. Be my wife already woman.
''That's cool.''
''What about?''
''Me? I uhm, like watching sports. And I love eating food, especially Chicken pasta. The way my mom makes it.''
''So, you're a mommy's boy?''
''Not really.... I just like the things she used to do for me.''
''That's cool. How does your mom make the pasta?''
''Why do ask? Would you cook it for me?''
''Maybe?''
Is she flirting with me?
''I won't give you the recepy unless you cook it for me.''
''Okay than, you'll have teach me how to cook it?''
Oh, she is flirting with me.
''Yeah, you might learn it faster that way.''
Taking off the jacket, opening up her chest, leaning over the desk. I might bang her tonight.
''You think so?''
''I mean why do we have to eat the restaurant food. We go make the food now.''
''Slow down cowboy. I've been meaning to eat here for months.''
Shit, did I come on too strong?
''We should go after. Maybe the food here might not be all that anyways.''
YES!
...
(Present day.)
The signs were there, I should've known she was crazy when she wanted to have sex after the first date.
But to why? Why does it have to be this way?
God could've warned me about her.
''You want to wash the dishes with me? I really miss spending time with you in the kitchen.''
NO!
''Yeah cool, only if you play the song.''
''Okay, I see what you're in the mood for tonight.''
No, I don't want to have sex with you.
...
Washing dishes and dancing with her is fun at least. This is the best she can offer me anyways.
''Oh my gosh babe, I forgot how good you were of a dancer.''
''Girl why do you think your dad loves me? He knows I have that Spanish blood in me too.''
''Exactamente, mi amor, te veo.''[1]
''You know!''
Hey... I'm actually enjoying this. Stop enjoying this!
''Hey, I'm tired now. Haven't done this in a while.''
''Oh okay, you want us to go upstairs?''
No! No sex!
''Yeah, about time.''
Kissing her. It's disgusting. I'm pretty sure compared to her, this is nothing. I hope I could kiss her like this soon. Look her smiling at me, would she smile at me when we're in love like this? I really hope so, because I also want my fantasy to come true.
''I want us to start making kids tonight.''
FUCK NO!
''Yeah.''
Why am I nodding to this tomfoolery?
''I've been meaning to ask.''
I'M FUCKING LYING. God. Please help me.
...
(The following morning)
I can't believe I gave a witch my seed. So stupid, so stupid , so stupid. WHAT THE FUCK!
Again. Does it really have to be this way?
''Good morning love, have a great day at work.''
''I will.''
''I love you.''
''Love you too.''
I was hoping she wouldn't see me leave.
''Wait.''
What now?!
''Yes?''
''Give me a kiss.''
What? Ew.
''Mmcccwwaaa. Love you.''
''I love you too baby.''
I should get another toothbrush to use for when I'm in the car, if this is going to be her new trend.
Why is she waving at me. What's up with this woman lately? The sex couldn't have been THAT good damn.
...
Here's another reason I hate this place, having to park my car two block from my office because of traffic. Now I have to walk two fucking blocks.
Does it really have to be this way?
Atleast this gives me an excuse to go in to her Cafe. And look-
WAIT! Shit didn't see tell me to stop looking at her? Fuck won't it be weird. How could I Forget? Shit. Must be that woman, she's the reason for this.
Oh no.
''Are you gonna go in?''
Now I have to go in.
''Sorry.''
Okay, if I'm in than I'll have to sit at a new chair-
No. If I do, she'll notice and that'll be weird. I have to follow through.
Does it really have to be this way?
Okay calm down, she won't notice me. Ah, but look at her work, why is she so beautiful? She belong to me. Why isn't she with me? Damn... I just can't speak-
Fuck no. No looking. You're so stupid shit, you could've been caught. Dumbass.
''Hey, same order?''
''No.''
''Oh new order this time?''
''Nah I'm kidding. Same order.''
''Haha, very funny.''
I'm starting to feel like this dude hates me. After all the money I gave you.
Anyways, I still have a question for her.
What were you- what are you running from?
''Hey.''
Again?
''Hi.''
''You're doing it again. And here's your coffee.''
''Thank you. And doing what again?''
''Looking at me, watching me.''
''Have you ever considered the fact that I might be a fan?''
''I can't be that famous to have a stalker.''
''Stalking? Oh no darling, I'm just admiring. That's all.''
''Really admiring me for a whole month? Is that what you do to your prey?''
''Prey? What do you mean?''
''You know, scout out your prey than devour it when it's the right time.''
''Don't make laugh.''
''Hey Samantha! It's rush hour you can't be holding on to customer that long.''
Wait! Dickhead we weren't done talking.
''Hey wait. Here's a tip, and thanks for your services.''
''You just received your order.''
''Don't worry about it... And by the way, A prey that's aware it's about to be eaten, maybe wants to be eaten. Have you thought about that?''
''No... No, I haven't.''
Damn, is that a genuine smile. Because it has to be the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my life. Look at her eyes too, are they grey or blue? FUCK I want to marry this girl.
Samantha, her name is Samantha. Such a pretty name. I love it.
...
Work. I hate it here. Why did I have to clock in, when I'm director I won't be doing no dumb shit like that...Wait- when I'm director that means, I'll have to be on the other side of town. SHIT! I won't see Samantha anymore. FUCK
Does it really have to be this way?
''Sir!''
Jazmine.
''Sir! There's-''
''Jazmine, I'm really not in the mood for this today.''
''But sir-''
''Cancel all my meetings and bring me pain killers.''
''Sir I really-''
''Just do it Jazmine.''
I really have to think of how I'm going to challenge this, I might never see the love of my life again.
''Does it really have to be this way-''
Who the fuck are you?
''Excuse me. Am I in the wrong office?''
''Oh Mr. Louw.''
''I assume I'm the only one here. Who are you? And why are you in my office?''
''I'm sorry sir, but didn't they tell you?''
''Tell me what?''
''They assigned me to your office yesterday. They said they'll call you. Didn't they call you.?''
They did, but that bitch switched it off. Or was it me? Even so, she made me do it.
''Yeah, but I was having dinner with my wife.''
''It's all good sir, but they told me you would have a day off today. And they'll see how I handle your role.''
''Day off?''
Have I told you guys I've only worked here six months?
''Yes, actually this whole week you won't be here, you'll be at the Hendrix department.''
''Okay. Thank you.''
''Thank you, sir.''
I fucking hate loving this job.
''Jazmine, come.''
''Yes sir. Here are the pills you-''
''What? I don't need that. Why didn't you tell me about the day off?''
''I tried telling you, sir.''
''You didn't try enough Jazmine.''
This woman. If I could. I would.
''Sorry sir.''
''You want to drink coffee with me?''
''Yeah.''
The perfume she has on, it's new. I don't like how nice it smells. Jazmine, I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work. Not on me love.
...
''You didn't have to bring your girlfriend. You know.''
''What?''
''Your girlfriend.''
Does she mean Jazmine?
''Oh no. He's, my boss.''
''Jazmine is my secretary.''
Jazmine, OH HELL NO.
''Oh. Well, this is awkward.''
''Don't worry about it.''
This IS awkward.
''Jazmine let's go.''
''But sir I haven't-''
''Get one on a takeaway.
...
I don't have anywhere else to go to, so I'll just go home, I guess. Tried taking Jazmine home to prolong my way home, but she stays closer to work than expected. I hate this. Maybe I should take her out, so that she won't be much of a nuisance.
''God. Does it really have to be this way?''
...
Hey, I thought she said the mechanic came here yesterday. Why is his car in my driveway again. Look at her smiling, why is this bitch smiling?
Is this man half naked in my kitchen?
OH! WHAT THE FUCK!
''WHAT THE FUCK!''
''WHAT THE FUCK!''
''WHAT THE FUCK!''
Oh no she didn't. Oh no she didn't. No, it can't be. Did I just see what I saw?
With the mechanic bitch? WITH THE FUCKING MACHANIC?
My WIFE IS CHEATING ON ME WITH THE FUCKING MACHANIC?
[1] Translates to: ''Exactly my love, I see you.''