I never thought I'd start a morning with glitter in my socks and banana in my hair—but here we were.
After surviving yesterday's obstacle course from Cupid's fever dream, the five of us were rewarded with a night at the "TrueMatch Luxury Lounge," which turned out to be a fancy term for bunk beds and aromatherapy candles that smelled like questionable citrus.
Now, it was 8 a.m., and we were gathered in the "Love Café," sipping something Crystal insisted was passion fruit latte, but tasted suspiciously like expired yogurt.
Leo sniffed his mug. "Is this supposed to fizz?"
Jessie stared at hers. "Mine's bubbling."
Zara held hers up for a photo. "Aesthetic over safety, always."
Meanwhile, I was still trying to get coconut oil off my elbows when Crystal waltzed in, clipboard in hand and the same too-cheerful energy of a kindergarten teacher on espresso.
"Good morning, lovebirds! Did you all sleep like snuggly kittens?"
"No," Jessie replied flatly.
"We found a glitter spider in our room," Milo added. "It waved at me."
Crystal ignored this. "Today's quest is all about chemistry!"
"Oh no," I muttered. "We're doing science?"
"Better!" Crystal said, as if that were even possible. "Today, you'll each go on a speed-date—blindfolded. Your senses will guide you to your match."
Leo perked up. "Wait. Like… taste-test dating?"
"Oh yes," Crystal said with a wink. "Some of your challenges may involve feeding each other while blindfolded. Others will test your connection through scent, sound, and emotional vibes."
"That's not a real thing," Jessie said.
Crystal handed out blindfolds shaped like giant cartoon hearts.
Five minutes later, I was blindfolded and sitting in a chair, trying not to panic as someone sat across from me.
A soft male voice said, "Uh… hi?"
Milo. Definitely Milo.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual. "So… smell anything weird?"
He sniffed the air. "Is that… banana bread?"
"I think Zara's using banana-scented perfume."
We both laughed. A little too hard. The kind of laugh that says we're both uncomfortable but pretending we're fine.
Then a voice from a speaker announced:
"ROUND 1: EMOTIONAL VIBES. YOU MAY ASK ONE HEART-REVEALING QUESTION."
I thought for a moment, then asked, "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on a date?"
Milo was quiet for a beat. Then:
"I once took a girl to a planetarium, tried to impress her by naming stars, and accidentally pointed to a plane."
I laughed out loud. "That's... actually kind of adorable."
"What about you?" he asked.
"I accidentally texted 'I love you' to a guy I just met. Meant to send it to my mom. He never replied. But… I think she cried."
"Your mom?"
"No, the guy."
We both laughed again. And suddenly, the blindfold didn't feel so awkward.
Over the next few rounds, I got paired with Leo—who tried to guess my zodiac sign by sniffing my hair—Zara, who gave surprisingly great advice about long-term commitment, and Jessie, who just said, "I hate this game," and threw a spoon at the wall.
Then, back to Milo again.
This time, we were asked to feed each other without using our hands.
It… did not go well.
The spoon hit my nose. The yogurt landed on his pants. And somehow, I managed to stab myself in the cheek.
"This feels like a very weird dream," I said, wiping my face with a napkin.
"If we kiss, will we wake up?" Milo joked, then immediately turned red. "I mean—not that we should. Or—unless—uh…"
I grinned. "Relax, Romeo. Save the kisses for Level 10."
He let out a relieved laugh. "Deal."
Crystal blew a whistle and declared, "Round over! Scores will be calculated, and tonight's compatibility dinner pairings will be announced shortly!"
Jessie groaned. "This is turning into The Hunger Games, but with more whipped cream."
We headed back to the lounge, covered in various food substances and emotionally unstable.
Later that evening, the results were posted on a big pink board:
DINNER DATE MATCHES
Tessa & Milo
Jessie & Leo
Zara &... Zara (apparently she requested a solo table and mood lighting)
That night, as I sat across from Milo at a candlelit table decorated with heart-shaped confetti and tiny singing robots, I caught him watching me.
"Hey," he said softly. "This might be the weirdest dating experience ever... but I'm kinda glad it's with you."
I smiled. "Same."
A small robot zoomed past and accidentally set the tablecloth on fire.
We both screamed, grabbed our water glasses, and doused it.
Then burst into laughter.
Because honestly?
This might be the beginning of something… ridiculous.
And maybe even real.