Sexis was behind me.
He said all that cool shit to Malthus all the while hiding behind me.
It's like women ranting about equality while staying away from the dirty, dangerous jobs.
"Why are you hiding behind me?" I asked. "And you are taller than me, everyone could see you. You should have hid behind Malthus."
"Real smart, my human Racis friend. Why the hell will I hide behind the very same thing I am hiding from?"
"Don't pull a tongue twister on me."
"It's not a tongue twister. I can't even speak in my normal vocabulary for a while now. I am tense, like really tense."
"I think your dialogues are a hassle to write, that's why you are speaking normally for a while now."
"No one is writing my dialogues. What are you talking about? I am a real person. Not a character."
"Yeah right. Anyway, enough hiding, come out otherwise I will side step again."
"Jesus. Fine. I am coming."
Jesus?
"Someone is definitely writing your dialogues. No way an alien would say Jesus."
"It's an analogy I have learned from the dictionary. No one writes my words for me. I am an independent creature. I only say what I want. I like men. I am gay. I once tried to bend my antennas backwards in hopes it reaches my g-spot. Wait. What am I saying? I don't want to say all this."
That's what you get by refusing the almighty.
"Don't worry about it."
"Yes. I am tense so such gibberish came out of my mouth. All of that was a lie alright. Don't believe it."
"Sure."
Sexis looked at me.
"Don't believe it, alright. All of that was a lie. You understand, right?"
"Dude, if you persuade me that much I would start thinking the opposite. Let it go."
"Right."
Sexis again stood beside me.
Now I was standing between Sexis and Erect.
Though, I did move a little away from Sexis. I want no antennas on my g-spot.
The forty seven Heroes were behind me and they stayed silent like Erect.
Malthus was in front of us and the red glow under his skin had intensified. It was like something would just burst out of his body. Like a microwave timer waiting for that ding.
Malthus was silent after hearing the people's opinion and my interaction with Sexis and now he was holding his forehead.
"Why…" he muttered. "Just why…"
He rubbed his temples.
"Why the hell everytime you two start talking with each other all the seriousness goes to ruin!? I am here to kill you. I am here to destroy your home. Show some fear. Show something serious, anything. You will all die. Stop talking about g-spots for fucks sake!"
I see.
We broke Malthus.
But…
"Fuck that. First tell me why are you glowing all red. Did you eat a police siren or what?"
Malthus closed his eyes.
He took some deep breaths, mostly trying to control the irritation he felt.
I can't help it though. His glowing skin was making too much suspense.
The last time I saw glowing skin was in a porn video. And that too because the phone's brightness was high. I have told grandma so many times to keep the brightness low on her phone. She never listened.
Meanwhile, Malthus finally found it in himself to speak something.
"You want to know why I am glowing?"
"Well, duh."
"Stop talking like that."
"It's my default setting. Don't mind it."
I am a comedian. Of course I will talk like that. I have been like this all my life.
"Fine. I don't care anymore. I want to acquire this planet and I will do it soon enough."
Malthus spread his arms.
"I have been pissed, vomited, annoyed, mocked and all of this gave me pain. A great amount of pain. And you all know what happens when I feel pain.."
Shit. I know what happens.
He will get bigger again.
How will we defeat him if he gets bigger than he already is right now?
… Wait. Maybe if he keeps getting bigger and bigger then it could be easier to defeat him.
He won't be able to handle his size that much efficiently and we can all land some small blows, heck we can go inside his body and do some huge damage. Yeah. That would be good.
Alright, Malthus. Go big or go home.
I placed my hands on my waist.
Erect and Sexis also paid attention to Malthus.
"You seem carefree, Human King. But I won't ask you anything. You are not suitable to talk seriously. I will just show you."
Malthus still had his arms spread and the red glow beneath his skin was at its peak brightness.
Something was going to happen at any moment now.
Malthus grinned.
And then…
SHINGG!!
A flash of red covered my vision.
It was something like from a camera of gods. I am sure the others must have also been forced to close their eyes.
The light was blinding.
But what will this flash do? Make a tiktok for Malthus?
Or considering how much pain he felt, after this flash ends he would be five times larger than before and then we would be able to defeat him easily.
The flash lasted for who knows how long and when it finally went away, all my expectations went with it.
Because Malthus…
"What is this shit?"
This red bitch was now at the same height as me!
What happened to me beating him by going inside his body?
Answer me!
Wait. I should say that out loud.
"Answer me!"
The heroes, Sexis and Erect also had frowns on their faces as if they were robbed of their expectations.
The people watching the sky weren't really surprised because they said nothing about it. Probably because they had no prior knowledge of Malthus' relation with pain. They never saw him growing larger in size after my alarm had blown him into bits.
"Why didn't you get bigger this time?" I asked the main question.
"Yes. I want to know too." Sexis spoke too.
Erect was also here so he too said something :
"Why are you now at the same height as my lord? That height doesn't suit a warrior of your stature."
Hmm?
"Is that an insult?" I looked at Erect. "You saying my height doesn't suit a warrior?"
Erect opened his mouth.
"Wait—don't answer that."
I stopped Erect.
Erect shrugged and again the focus went on Malthus.
The red man was the same height as me now, except his horns were still soaring skywards.
He had a wicked smile on his face and he constantly gawked at me.
"I didn't get big this time because I compensated my height for my strength." Malthus answered.
"So you think you are stronger than before now?" I asked.
Malthus smiled wider.
"I don't know about that, but now I can…"
He raised his right leg and with no effort, he simply just slammed it on the hard ground.
RUMBLE!
THUMPP!
After that, I understood that Malthus can now…
"Do this."
That bastard, just one simple slam of his leg and in front of my eyes…
The ground split!
And seeing it…
I think it looks a lot like my butt crack.