Lin Feng crouched in the floating lobby of the Andromeda Nebula Social Security Bureau, crumpling his Universal Basic Income Application into a ball. Lord Orange lounged in a quantum bubble above his head, munching on Meow Star-brand squid jerky, crumbs drifting like micro-meteorites.
"Name?" A mechanical octopus at the counter tapped a holographic keyboard with its tentacles, eight electronic eyes blinking in sequence. "Species? Continuous galactic residency for at least 3,000 years?"
"Lin Feng, human, age... approximately 0.000003 cosmic years by interstellar standards." Lin Feng slammed the bronze key onto the counter. "Will this cover the deposit? Dad said it's Grey Sparrow's inheritance!"
The octopus's tentacles spasmed, the keyboard sparking. *"Alert! Forbidden higher-dimensional artifact detected! Under Interstellar Welfare Act Section 250, you're under arrest!"*
Lord Orange's tail sent the approaching mech-guards flying. "How dare you touch Our royal servant?!"Fluorescent particles from its tail exploded into弹幕: [All feline overlords declare: This human is under Meow Star's protection!]
Suddenly, the floor split open, revealing a bubbling lava pool below. Lin Jianguo emerged in a heatproof suit: "Son! Jump! It's a shortcut to the cosmic core!"
Lin Feng grabbed Lord Orange and leaped into what turned out to be quantum-transport fluid disguised as magma. They drifted through warped spacetime, passing space junk—a rusted planet-cracker ship, a broken zero-gravity toilet, half a moon rock carved with "Lin Jianguo was here."
"Hold onto Our tail!" Lord Orange's tail entangled with a floating litter box. "The first Cat God's celestial throne! Brace yourself!"
The litter box hurtled through quantum currents until a giant scratching-post stargate appeared, inscribed with ancient Meow Star text: [SCRATCH TO PASS]. Lord Orange's claws extended like Wolverine's: "Stand back! This is a job for professionals!"
As sparks flew from the scratched surface, the tunnel blared heavy metal "Meow Meow Meow". Lin Jianguo yelled from the lava: *"Password is 'MEOWx4'—with death-metal growls!"*
Lin Feng roared: "MEOW—OOOORGH!" The gate exploded open, sending them into a white void where glowing cat grass swayed. At the center sat a cat-eared girl in hanfu.
"Welcome to the Cat God Relic," she said, heterochromatic eyes gleaming. "I am the first Cat God's AI steward. Call me... Mew-chan~"
A colossal cat tree loomed ahead, each level pulsing with civilization codes. Mew-chan's tail swished, revealing trials:
[1. Recite Pi's first 100 digits using only tail movements]
[2. Find ancient catnip in the quantum litter box]
[3. Prove you're Lin Yu's true brother]
Lord Orange scoffed: "We'll handle the first two. The rest is on you!" Its tail became a blur, tracing Pi in neon light. The litter box spat out amber catnip after furious digging: "Pathetic mortal puzzles!"
Lin Feng stared at the third challenge, then yanked off Lin Yu's sneaker: "My sister's foot stench is a galactic-class biohazard! Test it!"
Mew-chan's nose quantum-phased, sniffing deeply: "Verified! Stench registers at black-hole intensity!"
The relic quaked as the Octopus President tore through space, mechanized tentacles flailing: "At last! The Cat God's power belongs to Grey Sparrow!" Its helmet split open—revealing Su Wan's mechanical skull.
"Mom?!" Lin Feng dropped his welfare form. "You... became seafood?!"
Su Wan's tentacles spewed antimatter slime: "Give me the Cat God Core, you ungrateful brat!"
Lord Orange's fur stood on end, tail splitting into glowing whips: "You dare steal Our divine right?!"
Lin Feng raised the litter scoop as a shield—only for the First Cat God's hologram to activate: "Supreme Cat Servant detected! Initiating [Great Citrus Litter Storm]!"
A galaxy-spanning vortex of quantum litter sand corroded Su Wan's mech-tentacles. The octopus armor peeled away, revealing... Lin Jianguo's face: "Son! Use the key now!"
As Lin Feng hesitated, the real Su Wan descended from another dimension wielding a planet-sized cat teaser: "Enough! Hand over the core, or I'll sell your sister's clones across the cosmos!"
Lord Orange pounced—Lin Feng jammed the key into the Cat God statue. The relic imploded, cat grass blooming with supernova light.
Lin Feng awoke in a Meow Star slum, pockets empty save for half a bag of quantum litter. Lord Orange licked its paws atop a rusted spaceship: "Your welfare application? Denied."
News holograms showed: "Ex-Grey Sparrow CEO Su Wan arrested for intergalactic catnip trafficking... Octopus disguise invented by Dr. Lin Jianguo..." The screen cut to Lin Jianguo square-dancing in a black-hole prison.
Lin Yu rushed over with clone compensation papers: "Bro! The court awarded me damages—three galactic sectors worth of cat food!" She gagged. "Why is it all fermented herring flavor?!"
Lord Orange pulled up a star map: "Quit whining! Intel says—" Its claw tapped the galaxy's edge. "New Sichuan-style octopus BBQ joint opened."
Lin Feng's bronze key glowed, projecting new coordinates: "Wait... it's pointing to..."
"The Meow Star Royal Culinary Academy!" Lord Orange's eyes became spotlights. "Graduates get universal cat-petting licenses!"
As their ship roared to life, Lin Feng spotted a familiar figure outside—Wu Li in a maid outfit, scooping litter for Meow Star kittens: "What? Never seen a disgraced villain rebrand before?!"