The day after the next, I found myself attending a different type of gathering than the vigil.
After our candid conversation, the Kingmaker told me he had something else to show me. I did not assume that it would mean my freedom and a mysterious return to my home. But it was not like I had a choice.
Plus, I was a little intrigued when he said some interesting words.
"Can you empathise when someone who could be like you rejects your thoughts and beliefs?"
Since our conversations started, those were the most interesting words the Kingmaker said to me. I could not decipher the words even after sleeping through the night, taking a confusing flight, and sleeping in a strange hotel.
The only comfort was Sister Agatha, who travelled with me as a guide.
However, when morning came, she insisted that she could not go to the place I was supposed to go with me. Instead, I found myself 'politely' ushered into a black vehicle early in the morning by two menacing men.
I was driven to a beautiful old building, not quite Gothic but still a little eerie.
I was welcomed by a beautiful woman in a smart sundress, a bright smile on her face. For a moment, I was scared. Sure, I had already been through some ordeals, but there was nothing I trusted less than an unsolicited bright smile.
"I am Eunice," The woman said. "You must be Catherine. I have heard so much about you."
I was dumbfounded.
"You have?" I asked with an incredulous expression. What could she have possibly heard about me? The Kingmaker would not deem it worthy to say anything that would qualify as 'so much about me'.
"Indeed. I understand that you are interested in learning more about our way of life. Do not be scared. Everyone is really friendly." Eunice said.
I was hesitant, but I nodded and smiled politely.
"We are the Women's Chapter of the Order of Paragons in the city. We are not as big as the other chapters, but it helps us maintain a close-knit community," Eunice said. "We keep an eye out for each other."
Despite her moderately high heels, she is quite fast in her steps.
"What exactly do you do?" I asked as we came closer to the door.
I knew that the Order of the Paragons did not accept women as members. However, there were countless scandals involving using women as handmaids, servants who were taken in to serve the members, especially the clergy associated with the order.
As far as I knew, the men who were welcomed by the Order of the Paragons, such as the Pawn, were rich and powerful. Moreover, they were wooed into joining the righteous cause with love and promises. They were treated like royalty and showed the best side of being a member.
On the other hand, the women who were recruited were nothing more than slaves. Usually, they were young girls from poor backgrounds who were promised a better life if they were willing to become members.
With the name of the temple and the creator on their side, the families of many girls would allow them to join. However, according to what I heard, the life of the girls would involve serving as servants from a young age.
Moreover, they were required to follow stringent rules and experience inhumane punishments. But with the threat of the creator, many would suffer through it and remain bound as handmaids for the clergy.
However, I had not heard about the Women's Chapter of the Order of the Paragons. It would imply that women were allowed to become a part of the order to some extent. It sounded a little suspicious.
The paragons were not friendly to women as far as I knew.
Still, I was willing to see what it was about.
"You will see what our chapter is about soon enough," Eunice said with obvious pride.
When we entered the building, I understood the Kingmaker's words immediately. Suddenly, I was quite certain that I was being tested beyond my capability. After all, the scene before me was everything I rejected.
At that point, I wondered if I was capable of true empathy and truly understanding this specific matter, despite my confidence earlier when talking to the Kingmaker. It was not like when I failed to understand the mind of the Mad King.
Rather, it was because of innate rejection.
The large room before me was anything if not bright and cheerful. It was filled with women chatting with each other with smiles on their faces. Each of them looked feminine, pleasant and a picture of radiance.
A few of them were holding babies, and those who weren't would occasionally coo at the babies with sweet laughter. It was the embodiment of sweet, feminine, and maternal joy as seen in parents' magazines.
It was everything that scares me.
Do not get me wrong.
I do not hate it for other people. The idea of myself being a part of this kind of thing scares me. It was not something a woman should be caught saying, but the concept of marriage, children and family felt like entrapment.
And more than scaring me, I did not understand it.
I realised that the Kingmaker had set an impossible situation before me.
Because I immediately could see that I would have a hard time empathising with women like me who chose a life I considered to be a manipulation of the patriarchy. It was hard to get into the mind of someone who could be me… but was the opposite of me.
Perhaps, the Kingmaker did know me more than I knew myself.
This was the easiest method he could use to prove that I was nothing more than a fraud, especially to myself. I claimed to be empathetic, capable of putting myself in anyone's shoes and understanding where they were coming from.
I also claimed that I believed in the freedom of women. Yet, my own mindset was no different from the Kingmaker who wanted to restore things to the same nature as in the past, where women were helpmeets.
My mindset was set on becoming free of the patriarchy and traditional social norms. A place where women were free from the social construct designed to oppress… Yet, the women before me did not look oppressed or unhappy…
But my brain rejected the scene before me.