Lin Feng perched on a toilet seat stacked with Five Years of College, Three Years of Suffering textbooks — not for studying, but anti-surveillance (the principal once tracked his phone for three years using these). He twirled an SD card looted from the skeleton, glaring at the bathroom mirror: "Dad, if you pull more ghost pranks, I'll turn your lab into a haunted house and charge admission!"
BZZT!
The screen fizzed with static. Young Dad's face appeared, wearing SpongeBob pajamas stained with noodle grease. Behind him, Lord Orange yowled to the CCTV News theme song. "Xiao Feng, if you're watching this…" He shook a bubbling vial. "Golden Ear succeeded! It can make people…"
The video glitched to surveillance footage: Su Wan, wearing a Grey Sparrow pin, whispering with "Einstein" over a corpse — Young Dad's corpse.
CRASH!
Lin Feng knocked over his spicy noodles, broth spreading like a toxic world map. The timestamp read: July 15, 1998 — the day Dad vanished.
"Mom… your twilight romance is WILD." He stormed into her room with a plunger… and found 12 Grey Sparrow vials labeled "For Lin Yu - Blood Type Match."
A BMW roared outside. Lin Feng dove into her closet, buried under 20 mink coats. Su Wan's heels clacked like gunshots.
"Come out," she said, cold as frozen lemon slices. "Or I'll livestream your toddler bedwetting photos."
He emerged, shaking a vial: "Explain. The pin. Dad's corpse. Poison for Lin Yu?!" He spotted her live-streaming phone. Comments flew:
[OMG if my mom looked like this I'd question reality too]
[DROP THE LIPSTICK SHADE PLZ!]
[RUN! HER EYELINER'S CROOKED!!!]
Su Wan reapplied her lipstick, mirror reflecting her icy glare: "20 years ago, your father stole Grey Sparrow's data. I married him to—"
"Wait!" Lin Feng whipped out a Bluetooth speaker. "We need drama BGM!" He blasted The Temptation of Going Home theme song.
CRASH! Lord Orange burst in with a fish tail-camera: "Fools! I filmed their base!" The tablet showed "Einstein" doing square-dance in a wig over a holographic map.
"Why's this geezer grooving to Drunk Butterfly?!"
"FOCUS!" The cat slapped him. "The red dot's Jiangcheng NUCLEAR PLANT!"
Su Wan sprayed perfume, turning Lord Orange's tail into glowing wings. It yanked Lin Feng through the ceiling: "Hold on! To the SKY PALACE!"
Above the clouds loomed a floating Grey Sparrow base. Rat waiters in tuxedos served cocktails: "Tequila or Invitation to Wine recital?" Screens flashed headlines: "Rat Poetry Gala Breaks Records! Li Bai Fanclub: NO CRAZY STANS!"
The Rat King sang Shu Dao Nan in Henan opera style, vaping clouds that shaped ancient calligraphy. Crowds chanted: "RAT KING! RAT KING!"
"Surprise?" Lord Orange landed on cotton-candy clouds. "Grey Sparrow hides bases with anti-gravity and TikTok filters!"
Lin Feng nibbled a cloud: "Tastes like smog…"
ALARMS!
Wu Li zoomed in on a hoverboard, blasting his belt with lasers: "CATCH THE CLOUD THIEF!"
"I ate ONE CLOUD! It's not your Wi-Fi!" He ran pantsless into a hologram room. The cursed family photo looped — a Grey Sparrow tattoo glowed on baby Lin Yu's chest.
"Sis was the experiment?!" A whimper led him to a cloning lab. Hundreds of Lin Yu clones floated in pods, staring: "Gege…"
Su Wan's hologram smirked: "Why do you think I let you play hero? The real Lin Yu…"
The clones chorused: "...is ours."
Lord Orange smashed a pod: "FAKES! Look at the labels!"
Lin Feng read: "Production Date: Yesterday. Batch: Bootleg Edition - Pimple Filters Not Synced."
"Mom, your knockoff game's weak." He grabbed a fire extinguisher. "These clones don't even have her acne!"
ROAR! Lord Orange's tail exploded with light, summoning armies of winged orange cats. Wu Li's wig flew off. The Rat King parachuted screaming: "No friends on the road—AHHH MY PARACHUTE!!"
"Did we hit a catnip dimension?!" Lin Feng tackled Su Wan. "Give up!"
She hit her watch. The sky base tilted, crashing toward Jiangcheng Pharmaceuticals. Lord Orange shrunk to a chonky loaf as they free-fell.
"Oh crap…" Lin Feng yelled into the wind. "We just fought the TUTORIAL LEVEL?!"