Lin Feng crouched behind a sewer grate, three mutant cockroaches crawling over his sneakers. Lord Orange glowed faintly on his shoulder, the cat's tail leaving neon-green streaks in the dark tunnel.
"Where's my damn limousine?" the cat hissed, flicking a roach away with its paw. "You promised luxury transportation!"
"Your Majesty, we're literally using your tail as a flashlight!" Lin Feng gagged as he pushed through foul-smelling algae. His fingers brushed against a rusted metal sign: Grey Sparrow Underground Lab - Entrance.
CRASH!
The manhole cover flew off. The Rat King descended with his entourage, wearing a diamond-encrusted eyepatch and holding a gold-plated microphone. "Yo! 300 meters underground, we own this town! Golden Ear's our game, humans gonna drown!"
Lin Feng grabbed a rusty pipe. "Rat King! They took my sister! Let's team up—you handle the rhymes, I'll handle the fight!"
The rats projected [DISS GREY SPARROW! SAVE LIN YU!] on the tunnel walls with laser pointers. "Deal! But first, send me a virtual sports car!"
"How about this instead?" Lin Feng tossed a pack of spicy snacks at them. "Hot enough to melt your face off!"
The Rat King sniffed the package and suddenly switched to a rural accent: "Alright, let's wreck this lab!"
Past the security scanner, the laboratory had been transformed into a cyberpunk rap arena. Su Wan sat on a holographic throne, her red nails tapping a tablet. Advertisements for Golden Ear Elixir played on loop: "Drink once, live forever! Drink twice, outshine the poets! Drink three times, become a superstar!"
Wu Li descended from above, her laser gun now modified into a sparkling microphone. "Welcome to Underground Rapocalypse! First round theme: Family Betrayal! Lin Feng, drop your verse or watch your sister get injected!"
Lin Feng kicked over the teleprompter and grabbed the mic:
"Yo! Mom's the villain, Sis is a clone!
Dad's a ghost story, I'm stuck here alone!
Golden Ear's poison, melts your brain—
Judges got my mom looking like a supervillain!"
The Rat King fired back, his tail sparking:
"Skrrt! Grey Sparrow's fake, brewing liquid lies!
Auntie Su Wan's smirk could freeze the skies!
You think you're slick? We see right through—
Your acting's faker than internet fame!"
Su Wan crushed her tablet. A hologram showed Lin Yu trapped in a glass capsule, a glowing syringe poised above her.
"Sudden death round!" Wu Li's robotic eye flashed red. "Freestyle to save your sister—mess up, and she gets the needle! Theme: Hope in Hell!"
"You're all trash!" Lord Orange leaped forward, his tail splitting into glowing strands. "I'm the real king of this dump!"
The lab filled with glitching blue code. The cat's fur dissolved into floating text: [PROTECT LIN YU!]. The clones malfunctioned, dancing wildly until one's arm flew off and smacked "Einstein's" wig.
"Cheating cat!" Wu Li's bald metal head gleamed. "Release the POET ZOMBIES!"
BOOM!
Ancient poets crawled from the floor:
Li Bai stumbled drunkenly, slurring poetry.
Du Fu swung a heavy book like a weapon.
Li Qingzhao threw hairpins like daggers.
"A zombie poetry slam?!" Lin Feng grabbed an ancient scroll to shield himself. "Does braised pork scare them off?!"
The Rat King jumped onto Du Fu's shoulder, rapping in dialect: "Give every rat a palace! Let my crew live lavish!" The zombie poets froze, reciting verses in garbled accents.
Lin Feng triggered his father's hologram. Young Lin Jianguo appeared in a ridiculous outfit, holding a bubbling test tube. "Son! If you're seeing this—"
"SKIP THE SPEECH! HOW DO I STOP GOLDEN EAR?!"
The hologram switched to a memory—Lin Jianguo proposing with a test-tube ring. "Su Wan, you're my perfect rhyme!"
Su Wan scanned the ring with a hidden device. "Cut the poetry—where's the data?!"
"MOM WAS A CORPORATE SPY?!" Lin Feng's mind reeled. Alarms blared: *[SELF-DESTRUCT: 5 MINUTES]*.
The Rat King spat out a USB drive. "Your dad's files! Password: MOM'S MEASUREMENTS!"
Lin Feng typed [90-60-90] and unlocked: "VIRUS DEPLOYED: Cringe Pickup Line Bomb—FIRE WHEN READY!"
In the reactor core, Golden Ear had transformed into a giant Hello Kitty firing rainbow lasers. Lin Feng aimed the weapon:
"Babe, I'd crawl through nine sewers and a nuclear reactor...
Just to hear you sigh at my terrible pickup lines!"
Hello Kitty froze, spewing crying cat emojis. Su Wan's defenses sprouted pink hearts. Wu Li's robotic brain short-circuited: "ERROR! SINGLE AND CAN'T COMPUTE ROMANCE!"
"NOW!" Lord Orange launched into the reactor, grabbing Lin Yu's capsule with his tail. "PAY ME IN TUNA, HUMAN!"
Lin Feng hit the self-destruct. The lab collapsed as rats sang off-key and clones breakdanced into oblivion.
"Roll credits! Where's my Oscar?!" He crawled from the sewer, covered in sludge.
Lord Orange smacked him awake: "DREAM ON! MOM'S COMING WITH A SPACE FLEET!"
The night sky lit up with a QR code formed by Grey Sparrow warships. Scanning it revealed:
Finale Preview: Star Wars: The Cat's Revenge 🚀👑